Falling out of the Vault
by Athla
Summary: The kid from vault 101, nothing more nothing less.
1. Baby Steps

Fallout 3

**Vault 101's residents remained protected from the outside world, except for the occasional radroach attack.**

Let's see, are you a boy? Or a girl?

/

'Come over here sweetie, walk to daddy.'

'Dada', gurgling curiously, I looked over at the large man gesturing me over. Ignoring him for now I looked at my surroundings through tiny toddler eyes, I was sprawled rather ungracefully on my butt on an unpleasantly hard tiled floor. Beside me was an inviting fluffy rug and the box with all my toys.

Getting to my feet I wobbled over to my toys and climbed up inside the chest. I took a bit of a tumble when I fell in and my lips wobbled dangerously. That Hurt! Making a mental note to go in feet first next time I reached for my bear and chucked it out of the chest before meticulously climbing out after it. Picking up the bear while stuffing one arm in my mouth and chewing happily I looked over to the large man. He kept making encouraging noises and waving his hands. He must be lonely.

Dragging bear with me I made my way over past the big walls only to have him slip behind me and quickly shuffle back to the gate before pushing it shut.

Trickery! The large man made some more funny noises and went over to the big walls. I watched as walls slid open to reveal an even bigger set of doors beyond the gate. Without so much as a backwards glance at my newly revealed cage he made his way out the doors and they slid firmly shut with a low hissing sound behind him. Feeling somewhat betrayed I glared at the door, expecting a swift return. When he failed to reappear I wrinkled my brow and judged it time to take immediate and drastic action action. Given my quite limited size and lack of girth my options were somewhat lacking, Still, I had mobility and a somewhat stubborn disposition. I decided it was best to keep things simple.

Throwing bear to the ground, I let loose a very impressive battle cry and charged the gate, having not realized that it had been left unlocked. I was left feeling rather impressed with myself as the flimsy plastic gate flew wide open from the force of my charge. And though I myself was left sprawled on the ground once again ,at least I was out of that cage the large man had left me in. Fueled by my own success I climbed to my feet and made another charge at the big gate the large man went through, fully confident in my kick ass gatecrashing abilities. I was quite put out when instead of giving way like the previous one this gate firmly resisted the force of my head and sent me crashing down to the floor...again. This time with the added bonus of a large bruise and five minuets worth of bawling

Sniffling, I gave the door a few whacks with my tiny palms to show my displeasure before making my ways back to my toy chest. I figured I'd play with my toy car till the large man came back and I could chew on his coat some. Not because I particularly enjoyed the taste of his coat, it was more of a petty revenge for trying to lock me in while he went out and played with all the good toys that must be out there. I saw them once, all shiny and pointy with sparkles and pretty colors.

On the way over to the toy chest I saw a picture book laying on the floor near my toys. I had never seen this particular book on the shelves, it was colorful and I rather liked the big block letters on the front. Growing excited I hurried over to grab the book and admired the cover. There was a little blond boy giving me a thumbs up! Giggling I sat down on the comfy rug and turned to the first page. Right away my giggling turned to hiccuping laughter as I saw the little blond boy with with big muscles and a bikini bottom. Smacking the page twice before flipping it eagerly, I was disappointed when instead of another funny picture there was just the boy all grown up with floating body parts around him. Slightly upset at this I quickly turned the page to see the same boy playing with a jump rope. Now I was frowning, the large man wouldn't let me play with those and watching someone else having fun with them made me more then a little green. Once again I quickly turned the page only to see the boy pointing at me and smiling brightly. Smiling back I hit the page once to show him my approval and moved on the the next , blinking slightly I was a little taken aback to see him reading a book just like me! Growing annoyed at being ignored I hit the page twice while aiming for his face, that'll teach him to ignore me!

Hearing a noise behind me I flipped the book shut and got to my feet just as the large man came through the doors. Taking my cue I rushed over and smacking into his ankles started wailing on his legs and screaming bloody murder. Chuckling and not taking my wails even slightly seriously, he leaned over and started speaking.

'well, quite the little explorer aren't you? Serves me right for trying to pen you in.'

Well, that I could agree with. Slightly placated I stopped hitting him with my tiny fists as he walked over to the picture frame near my toys to kneel down with a sad look. Growing upset myself I looked over to see what had made him so sad, seeing only big difficult words in the frame, I pouted and looked away. The book I had been reading at least had pictures. This picture frame writing did ant have any. Maybe that was why he had grown sad, having to read without the pictures would make me sad too. Turning around with full intentions of dragging him over to my book I was surprised to see him walking away, having missed what he was saying yet hearing the tailing end about visiting my friend Amata. I rushed past him and into the hallway, excited at the thought of visiting the loud little girl with lots of sweet-rolls and toys.


	2. Happy Birthday!

Chapter 2

**At age 16 every vault resident takes the generalized occupational aptitude test or goat which helps determine job placement**

Happy birthday sweetie.

/

Stepping toward the doors I couldn't help but tug nervously on the hem of my jumpsuit, the thick durable material seemed uncommonly tight around the shoulders and damned if I wasn't

stretching it out every chance I got. Inside I could hear muffled whispering and dimly over the shrill voice of old lady Palmer telling yet another story about the good old days was the unmistakable sound of butch whining about his missing switch blade. I grimaced, it seems that butch and his buddies somehow got and invite after all. This surprise party had bombed before I had even arrived.

Spinning around I decided to beat a hasty retreat, sorry Amata, I thought inwardly. Knowing how much effort she had put into the event made my footsteps sound rather hollow as I walked pass the reactor towards the upper levels. Or rather, I attempted to walk pass the reactor level but an arm shot out from behind the wall and grabbed a hold of the back of my jumpsuit.

Flailing as I was suspended in the air I was turned around to see the grinning face of officer Kendall.

'Hey there little lady, what are you doing over here? Aren't you supposed to be over in the diner for your big surprise?'Inwardly cursing, I nonetheless managed to plaster a somewhat less then sincere smile for the well meaning security guard.'Yes sir , I was looking for the lounge but I got turned around and now I 'm lost'

ok, now I felt like and idiot as his smile turned condescending, obviously thinking the docs little girl fell a little far from the tree. Still, it got him to set me down and send me back the way I came, much to my aggravation as that was exactly where I didn't want to go.

Twice I turned around hoping to see him walking off so I could sneak past him but both times he was still standing there with his arms crossed leaning against the brightly lit hallway walls. Obviously that route was officially off limits. Actually, now that I think about it, the upper levels wasn't my only hope for escape from this nauseating excuse for a party. There was the apartment level just past the diner. I could hide out under a bed or something till everyone had left, yes that would do rather nicely.

Crawling past the diner window without officer Gomez spotting me was a bit of a challenge, his nuka cola was actually less nuka more vodka but it left my rather spotty stealth skills more the adequate to leave me undetected until I reached the apartment doors.

[INACCESSIBLE]

Dammit!

Ok, this birthday officially sucks.

I had just resigned myself to my fate when the sliding doors in front of me slid open. Before the person on the other side could register me I had darted in and around a surprised miss Beatrice and was already well past the first staircase before she realized who had run past her.

Ducking into an empty room and hitting the shut panel, I breathed in relief as the door slide closed only to gag as potent vapor hit my nostrils.

'Whew, it smelled like a brewery in here. Or maybe Butches moms room,' I thought meanly only to immediately feel a flash of guilt. Her spawn aside, I was actually quite fond of Mrs Deloria. She used to babysit me before Mr Deloria fell into the protein vats. She was never quite right after that.

Brushing it aside I began exploring the rather potent smelling room.

Kicking aside empty bottles of scotch and a Salisbury steak carton of questionable origins rewarded me with what looked like a small living room identical to hundreds of others in the vault. An open door led to what I presumed to be a bedroom and to my surprise a small burgundy couch rested against the far wall next to a coffee table. Now I was curious, couches, or rather furniture of any kind was generally restricted to vault tech provided necessities which were in all honesty, rather...lacking in comfort.

Not one to let a good thing go by, I cleared a path and gingerly sat down.

Ohhh god, I had found bliss. Soft velvety bliss.

I decided right there as I snuggled into the cushions that this was where I would ride out my time till the party ended, with that settled , I looked lazily to the left then the right, hoping to spot a pillow or maybe even a blanket to rest my head on. Finding nothing I instead lay my head down on the armrest and threw my arms over my eyes to block out the light. They hit something rather hard and reaching around I found a full bottle of scotch wedged in between the armrest and the cushions.

'Happy Birthday to me.' I sang smartly before popping the bottle open with a grin and taking my first ever swig. Half a bottle latter found me deeply unconscious.

_'Congratulations young lady, I don't have to tell you how special this day is do I. Down here in vault 101 when you turn ten well, your ready to take on your first official vault responsibility. So here you are, as overseer I hereby present to you your very own kitchen knife. Get used to it._

_You'll be getting your first work assignment tomorrow, I for one believe butch would make a fine addition to the menu kehheheh.'Looking at my shiny new birthday present I decided to get a head start on my first assignment, turning to a see butch watching us with bulging eyes, I smiled sweetly and pulled down my clown mask.'Enjoy your party, your only ten once so have fun! Oh, and do try to keep the bloodstains out of the carpet.'_

'Happy birthday dearie, my goodness I hope I didn't miss the party.'

Groaning from my place on the couch, I slowly blinked open eyes that felt like weights and let out a very unladylike belch as I felt my stomach engaged in a full revolt.

Hovering over me with a panicky expression was miss Beatrice, brown wavy hair and slightly vapid expression included. Actually I was rather happy to see her, and even happier to see her setting down a bucket on the floor. Miss Beatrice held my hair out of my eyes for me as I leaned over and emptied the contents of my stomach. Well, more like wretched my guts out but she later worded it far nicer then I could manage.

'Well look at you,' she grinned. 'a great big grown up ten year old. With your very first hangover!'

I groaned into my bucket. How the hell can she be so cheerful when there's a radroach crawling around in my skull?

Finished with the pail I crawled back up onto the couch and tried to stay awake as she busied herself emptying my bucket in a previously unnoticed sink before attempting to clear away the trash and empty alcohol bottles . Actually I think she was a little embarrassed at the state of her quarters, covering it up with excited chatter about the party I had managed to avoid. Apparently butch had decided that since I wasn't going to show that the cake was all his. Andy who had been devastated at missing the chance to sing happy birthday had quite enthusiastically cut him a slice. To bad about that finger, surely my father could have it sewn back on in no time

Right then I decided Miss Beatrice was my new best friend.

///

OMAKE

'Where is she?' Jonas muttered, a worried frown covering his normally cheerful face.

Jonas I'm sure she just got turned around somewhere, she is just a little girl after all.

Doc, with all due respect there isn't a kid in this vault that couldn't find the bathroom with there head up there ass.

Rather inapropriate don't you think Jonas? best keep that kind of language to yourself around my little girl, and for gods sake would you watch it with that pellet gun!

'oh relax doc, it not like BANG! Oh shi**_JONAS_**!!!

/

/

A/N This spacing thing is driving me nuts! how the hell does everyone do it? I want one space not two. *RAGES* Anyway, Chapter 2! yay, a personal best!

......ok, so I'm a reader not a writer. Still, this is loads better then my last attempt at a story. "_shudders"_ fixing small bugs in the script. srry bout that.


	3. Escape from the Vault!

Chapter 3

A/N word of caution, vault gal seems to have developed a slight taste for the lady's...that sounded dirtier then I thought it would.

**The overseer is the undisputed leader of vault 101**

Escape the Vault.

/

'And stay out!'

Blinking away the dirt from my impromptu faceplant I rolled over to look disbelievingly at the large steel door to vault 101 as it slide shut with a screeching grinding halt.

The overseer had thrown me out and quite literally locked the door behind me. That..that bastard!

He had nothing to complain about. In fact, if anything I was doing him a favor, I gave people something interesting to talk about.

Residents may have been a little off put but in the end everybody loves to gossip. And what's better gossip the the resident shaggy blue haired pip boy programer and her bumbling attempts at hidden liaisons with her very own miss Robertson? Or miss Beatrice as the situation calls for it.

Winching from my position in the dirt, sharing space with numerous protesting skeletons. Not that they were protesting my position, but the old faded signs certainly suggested that they also were not fans of the overseer. Picking up a particularly imaginative explicative on a stick I chucked it at the immovable door, it didn't so much as dent it but it did make me feel better. It was sorta a hobby of mine, smacking immovable doors. Childhood trauma probably but that's not the point.

The point was, Amatas dad was a complete douche.

Granted I probably shouldn't have attempted a quickie in the storage closet. Clearing the tables in the dinner for some fun had probably not been the brightest move. And really,who ever used the target practice room but me anyways? And I was practicing my targeting! In a sense. The point was, it kept people talking, and talking can only be a good thing when encased in the same monotone steel walls day after day with no hope of escape. 'Your born in the vault, you'll die in the vault' as they say. It's not like we had anything better to do.

And Beatrice, oh sweet Beatrice how do you blush so. There was certainly no talk of medication once I had laid claim. In fact I daresay she had been more lively the past year then the rest of the that batch of vault heads put together!

Scoffing at my own mini rant, then scoffing at an oddly positioned skeleton, a sudden sneeze convinced me to save any further scoffing till I had found a slightly less dusty environment to scoff in.

Climbing to my feet found I ran a mental inventory, One vault jumpsuit with which I was currently adorned and my pipboy. a well prepared traveler I was not, I hadn't exactly been given time to pack but still. I really should have taken dad up on his BB gun offer before Jonas had his little accident.

Shaking away paternal thoughts I instead focused on the short dirt path leading to the great beyond, the end of all things, my doorway to the enlightened land! Growing excited at my own minds ramblings sent me running full speed toward the rickety old door and feeling it splinter to pieces I triumphantly shouted a war cry.

Jesus Christ! MY EYES! THEY BURN!!!

A/N what? You think I have any idea what I'm doing? Vault gal decides where this stories heading and she doesn't tell me until after it's already written.


	4. Welcome to Megaton

Chapter 4

**The explosive skill increases the damage you do with frag grenades, be carful where you aim or you might lose a leg**

Keeping busy.

/

Mole rats where the sun don't shine and sharp pointy objects...where the sun don't shine

this was, as I soon discovered, the basic principle to life in the capital wasteland.

Also mind your own fucking business and keep your caps away from prying eyes.

Just knowing you had a bit of spare change is usually enough to warrant at least one attempt on your life. Still, it isn't nearly as bad out here as they say. Sure there's the occasional asshole in a hockey mask and the local wildlife isn't quite as friendly as the radroachs we had down in the vault. In comparison too a molerat the roaches seemed downright playful

At least I was keeping busy. Not one hour out of the vault and I already made a deal with some cowboy to disarm a nuclear warhead. He even waved a deed to a house in my face before walking off. Crikey, my very own house! I couldn't believe it. How damn cool is that? Can you imagine what I could do with my own place? I could..well...ok, so I"m drawing a blank. But the fact remains that simply having a house surrounded by thick metal walls and filled with friendly gun bearing folk was a damn sight better then sharing sleeping space with a pissed off molerat.

Actually disarming the thing was a pain and a half. What with the glowing water, screaming preacher condemning my soul to oblivion, and the shaking and rattling the damn thing started doing after I clipped the blue wire, scared some old man into a heart attack I think. He kept clutching his chest and screaming for some broad called enclave to help him. People kept there distance. From him I mean, no point keeping away from me if a damn warhead went off. Closer you got the less likely you were to feel your skin blasted from your bones.

Right well, the nuke eventually disarmed itself though damned if I knew how. I of course, claimed full credit and wound up as the town hero with my very own pad and a pocket full of caps.

Not bad for the my first day

oh, and Moriarty pisses in his still.

Wish I had known before I celebrated that night.


	5. Business Transactions

Chapter 5

**Visit Moira Brown at craterside supplies to buy a theme for your house.**

Dangerous liaisons.

/

'Doc Hoff is the greatest guy. I'm...I'm serious. He's SSSooooooo coooll. He's got these neat little things he calls jet and wow do they live up to there name! I can outrun a pack of wild dogs with that stuff! Hey, hey could you help a guy out? come on man.'

Did I ever mention how much I hate Leo stahl? I really wish I had ratted him out when I had the chance. Now he shows up almost every night looking to sell some worthless piece of junk he swiped from one of the other residents so he can get his fix. Not that I'm getting all holier then thou, Everyone's got there own secret stash of med-x or buffout hidden away. Some seem to need it more then others apparently.

Tonight's great treasure is....the hell?

I blinked from my spot in the doorway.

'Is that a mini nuke?'

'yep'

'Where the hell did you find a mini nuke!?' my outraged cry quickly drew a few curious looks from passing settlers. Without another thought I reached over and grabed Leo by his caller and dragged him inside before slamming the door shut.

Releasing him long enough to latch a few locks in place I dragged him over to the chair in the corner.

'Sit' I commanded and like a good dog he sat without a fuss.

'First, how much? Second, How the hell?'

crap, I think I blew the disinterested buyer routine. The gleam in his eyes told me he knew the jet was going to flow tonight. Damn twitchy bastard.

'300 caps, upfront. swiped it from the pastor , crazy bastards started hoarding the things, word is he's trying to get enough to surround the old warhead. Figures a hundred mini-nukes are worth one big nuke I guess. He never really got over the disarming thing.'

Throwing a bag of money at someone is never as satisfying as when it draws blood. That's why I always mix a few nails in my cap bags for just such occasions. Caps aside I was quite pleased with my newest acquisition, pale dull green with a pleasing texture. Wealth could always be replaced but no one wants to fuck with someone carrying mini nukes if they could help it. There's always easier prey in the opinion of the average raider.

Still busy admiring my new baby it took me a few moments to hear Leo trying to get my attention.

'So ahh'

'what?'

'I like what you've done with the place, the lights, the extra bed, the ahh observers on the roof...you go to bed looking at those two?'

I felt my eyes turn to slits.

/

/

'Doc Church you there!?....could use a little help.'

'Leo? The hell you doing here at this hour? You better be half dead or else....geezus is that blood on you pants?'

'NO! No scissors. Christ doc I've seen enough of those things tonight alright...she she stole my manhood and stuck it in this jar.'

…...

…...

'the hell'd you do to piss her off?'

'Never mind how it happened just fix it already!'

A/N Since Vault gals got no reason to go chasing daddy through the wastes, expect things to go a little differently this time around.


	6. Getting to know the locals

Chapter 6

**Visit the Brass Lantern for food, drinks and conversation.**

Making friends.

/

Talon mercs

'Retreat! Fucking retreat!'

'I didn't sign up for this shit'

'Panseys! Get back here BANG! BANG!'

'Idiots! She doesn't even have a gun, She's just making loud noises.'

'Are you fucking kidding me? Dammit I lost sight of her.'

'Someone put a bounty out, that bitch is going to pay for this.'

/

Wadsworth

'It appears you've been wounded madam might I suggest you seek sexual attention as soon as possible?'

I turned from patching my bloody leg to give my robotic butler a startled look.

'...say again?'

If robots could give dirty looks then I would be the filthiest woman in the world right now.

'If the madam would pay attention, I believe I advised her to seek proper medical attention.'

I frowned, 'could have sworn you said....never mind, I'm going to bed. Lock the doors for me would you wadworth? Thanks.'

'Of course madam..._frigid bitch'_

'did you say something wads?'

'Nothing Mam '

/

Megaton settlers

'Whats with all the women lined up in front of the vault gals place?'

'Apparently she has a magical fridge that can hold an untold amount of food, drinks and chems and she's been stocking the bloody thing since the day she got here.'

"whistles"

'so whats with with the chicks?'

'What would you do to have free reign to a fridge like that for a night?'

'Damn man, pretty much anything she wants.'

'That's what they figure.'

'Ohhhh'

'...think we could get in line?'

'Women only.'

'Dammit.'

/

/

A/N It's always good to know the locals. So story traffics doubled and I even got a review, how about that. Since you asked, vault gal got kicked out of the vault a few months before her papa would have left, and now I'm not going to let him out. _"since he's so damn irritating"_ So our gals free to do whatever she pleases without worrying about daddy. Good times shall be had all around!


	7. Venturing out into the wastes

Chapter 7

**Due to it's remote location, Point lookout remained virtually untouched by bombs during the war. Years of nuclear fallout have left the area highly irradiated.**

All you need is a reason.

/

Catherine

'Please you have to help my daughter. She's gone and I don't know what to do.'

'Miss, I need you to calm down ok, I'll help you but I need you to answer some questions for me ok?'

'All.. alright anything, please I'll do anything to help.'

'Good, now mam. Is your daughter hot?'

'...what?'

'Is she attractive mam? Do I have a shot?'

' n....Yes...?'

'I can't promise anything, but I'll look for her. '

/

Tobar the Ferryman

'Welcome to point lookout! Everything a pretty little scavenger like yourself could dream of. Good food, miles of exotic lands virtually untouched by you wasteland types. Who knows what treasures are out there just waiting to be claimed!'

"_Crash! Splash!"_

'Er....best watch your step on the dock missy, planks right gone and rotted through in some spots.'

'Why yes, there's a vendor nearby that does sell shotguns. How'd you guess?'

/

Marcella

'The old mans paying me a thousand caps, what's your offer?'

'I...haven't much child. But perhaps I can pay you in medical supplies?'

'If I find the krevbeknih I'll consider bringing it to you. We can discus payment options then.'

'I..see. Yes perhaps that would be best. Go with god child. I'll be at my tent on the beach should you need me.' "_runs off_"

'…....I am going to hit that like the fist of god.'

/

/

A/N And that's how vault gal winds up in point lookout before ever meeting her first super mutant. Experimenting with different writing styles, and I found the chap replace button! Tweaks and edits shall be forthcoming. Also considering bumping rating up to M due to future chapter content.


	8. Roughing It

Chapter 8

**The local favorite is moonshine, It may be easier to acquire then you think.**

Food for Thought

/

'Damn mirelurks,' I grunted. Unloading both barrels into the broken shelled back of the mirelurk as it ran for the waters edge of the beach, attempting a last minute escape. Shouldn't have tried to mess with me, stupid thing walked over six of my frag mines before it finally wised up.

Shouldering my shotgun, I made my way over to the fleshy corpse and tore off a chunk from the exposed underbelly. Popping a piece in my mouth I closed my eyes and took a moment to savor the taste. Things tasted just like salty brahmin steak. Always worth harvesting if you get a chance and more weren't closing in around you. Eat or be eaten and all that. Wish I had something to wash it down with, and a fire to cook it would be nice. Kinda like that one over there.

Wait...what? Holy crap that thing had a camp set up! The hell?

Looking at the chunk of meat in my hand and back at the camp a few times. I once again pondered just how intelligent the aquatic beasts actually were....not intelligent enough to avoid stepping on a landmine, I pointed out to myself. And with that rather enlightening thought I grabbed the mirelurk and dragged it's slimy corpse over to the conveniently placed fire and cinderblock seats.

'Where the hell'd it get all this booze? And a cooking pot? What the hell was it cookin...ewww, locals heads gross!!!'

/

It's Happy Hour!

/

Leaning my forearm against one of the many rocks jutting out of the marshy landscape with my head bent down to the ground. Dry heaving till my stomach started to crap, _Mary land is just such a wonderful place._ I thought to myself bitterly as my head spun and my shoulder shook. I could barley keep to my feet. I don't know when the addiction set in, hell I can barely remember what brought me here to begin with. Something about untold treasure and the like, Untold was the complete and utter lack of doctors of any kind, and I tell ya. Once you realize that maybe...just maybe, you've taken one shot of buffout too many is when you notice a distinct lack of addiction clearing pre-war meds.

'Duhhh, hey there pretty lady. I's gots me some o those pills you looks likes you need. They yours....if you don go and keep ma company tanight.'

The words were more then enough to send me into a new round of nausea. Not pausing my retching in the slightest, I reached behind my back, upholstered my double barrel shot gun and shoved it into the leering mouth of the yokel drooling over the edge of the rock outcropping.

'Suck this.' I managed to mumble just as I pulled the trigger. Blowing the things head off in a grand spinning volley of blood and gore. Wiping my mouth of any vile substances I began to rummage threw the yokels now headless body for the pills he had claimed.

...fucker didn't have any.

…....

/

A/N still plugging along. Relationships will probably mostly be kept light and humorus because I'm "trying" to make the more...intimate, parts tastefull. And frankly I'm not sure I can pull it off. well, we'll see how she goes. or comes in this cas... ----- see! this is what I'm talking about! "bangs head against wall"


	9. Hospitality

Chapter 9

**Always be sure to salvage spare parts to maintain your guns. Or don't, Wastes could always use one less idiot.**

White Picket Fences

/

'You're not from around here!'

With that serving as a battle cry, the ugliest man I have ever seen lunged at me with axe a swinging.

Backpedaling furiously through the sandy beach, I unloaded round after round of buckshot into the lurching brutes chest hoping to put some distance between us. Aside from a momentary stumble the rounds didn't seem to phase him in the slightest. Quickly grabbing a bottlecap mine I dropped it in front of me and scrambled backwards as fast as I could. The dumb brute didn't even register it as a threat and planted one foot directly on top of my highly expensive deathtrap.

I fucking love watching those things blow. There's something rather satisfying about watching a fistful of cash ripping your enemies to shreds. Winching as a few stray caps clipped my armour. I watched in disbelief as the ugly bastard actually got back up onto his feet. His left arm was a gory mess and he had a wobble in his step that wasn't there before, I must have crippled the leg. Still, he raised his axe high and gibbered some nonsense threat as he resumed his single minded pursuit.

This asshole was seriously wasting my ammo.

What with the speed reduction I wasn't to worried about him catching me, but I couldn't just run off either so biting back a curse I unhooked my lever action rifle and started unloading some rounds into him. No point in wasting buckshot, the stuff was triple the price of 5mm ammo and there was always another asshole waiting.

'Huh, you in the wrong place gal!'

'Shut UP!' I screeched back at him. Gods he was irritating. Spotting the remains of a picket fence wedged into the sand sent my mind into action. Running past the tracker I placed one hand onto the fence and vaulted over to the other side. Watching the tracker growing frustrated trying to climb over with two mangled limbs sent a jolt of vindictive glee through me. From the other side I calmly pelted him with bullets till his chest seemed to deflate. With one last overly hillbilly cry he crumpled to the ground dead as could be.

Rummaging through his pockets I found some whiskey and a nearly empty jug of moonshine.

No wonder the bastard wouldn't go down. He was so god damn drunk he probably couldn't feel the bullets! With a cringe I realized that likely this would not be the last wasted tracker I would come across, pocketing the whiskey, I gave the jug a sniff before tossing it into the ocean in disgust. I would not be drinking anything that had that things lips attached to it. Grabbing the trackers discarded axe and hefting it over my shoulders, I resumed my long trek along the beach towards Calvert Mansion.

/

/

A/N Kasumi DLC just came out so I'll be playing that for a while. Feel free to use this downtime to leave a review if you feel like it. Or don't, both amuse me equally. p.s. Woodrose = The Awesome.


	10. Taking it easy

Chapter 10

**Visit the Homestead Motel for all your creature comforts!**

Where's ma banjo?

/

Lounging on the bench by motel room, Passing time away just watching the clouds.

I was taking "_in my opinion_" a well deserved break.

I'd just gotten back from the underground spy bunker and having narrowly escaped from the heavily radiated double cross I figured it was time to sit back, relax and spend a few days just taking it easy.

Which is why I was out front of my little motel room with my new backwater rifle taking potshots at any vicious dogs who happen to wonder by. Damn things kept trying to reclaim the area but I was stubbornly refusing to give up my claim. Actually it had been a few hours since any had wandered by and I was starting to get a little bored, not to mention my recon armor was starting to chaff. Briefly I wondered if I'd be able to convince Madam Panada to repair the minor damage it had sustained as I wandered the swampland before discarding the idea. I may have currently been swimming in ammo but something about that woman just plain creeped me out. So much so I hadn't once made any of my customary pickup lines.

Sighing slightly and feeling more then a little unmotivated, I forced myself to my feet and decided to try once again to pick the locks on the rest of the motel rooms. Earlier that day I had spent an hour working the latch on room 1g, one of the only other rooms that hadn't long since been boarded up. It took a while but eventually the lock had given and granted me access. I don't know what I had expected to find but a butt load of pre-war cash was a pleasant surprise. From the looks of the skeletons laying around it seemed like they had had a bit of an argument on ownership rights and had settled the matter with bullets rather then diplomacy. In the end though, looks like neither were able to stop me from claiming the spoils.

There was still that one room around back though, that had stubbornly refused to give. I had given it up for a lost cause but after finding all the loot from neighbors I figured one more shot couldn't hurt. Third times the charm after all. Who knows what kind of goodies lay beyond the door of motel room 1k?

/

/

A/N Still playing the kickass new Kasumi DLC but I have some stuff already written so I can still upload new chapters every now and then.


	11. Hobo's and lighthouses

Chapter 11

**The Blackhall Family has a long history in point lookout, most of it is kept to themselves.**

Tears and blood

/

There is something seriously messed up with this book.

Not that that was unexpected but really, human skin bound cover, soaking in a basin of blood and skulls, Guarded by axe welding yokels? Forget blackwall, Marcella had the right idea. This thing needed to burn. I didn't even like touching it, made the skin on the back of my hands itch and flake. So I wound up wrapping it in a neckerchief and tied it to the end of a fishing rod, If anyone saw me as I walked along the beach I 'm sure I must have looked a bit like a happy hobo. Was starting to feel the part too. Three months I had been in point lookout and already I noticed a bit of a drawl in my voice that hadn't been there previously. I spit more too, side effect of all the wild punga fruit I'd been eating I guess. Still, beat squirrel stew any day. Helps with all the radiation I'd been soaking up as well. Not that I ever managed to get below critical anymore. I swear some nights I don't even need a lantern to see where I'm going I'm glowing so brightly.

Making my way along the beach whistling some tune I'd heard the from the yokels in the direction of Marcella tents My eyes caught movement. I frowned slightly, there were three of them, smugglers by the looks of them.

Marcella....was living in those tents.

Running forward with my backwater riffle I let a bullet fly just as the first smuggler locked eyes with me,

two left....

Dread is a feeling every wastelander learns to live with, it follows you from the moment you step out into the sunlight and follows you to every town, cave and outpost you happen to wander across. Pushing aside the tent flaps was all I needed to see what I already knew. Marcella was leaning against the desk with her head down, dirty hair matted in blood. The smugglers had killed her.

Blinking back tears. I reached over and pressing my fingers to her face smudged in blood and grime to lower her eyelids. The voice recorder on the table told the story, heartbroken pain filled words filled the tent as I sat down heavily on the dusty cot. The smugglers had attacked while she was sleeping. They took her, used her, and left her to die while they looted the rest of the tents. Before my bullets splattered there brains against the sand. Still, I knew from the writing on the wall, this wasn't any random encounter. These men were hired, and the was only one man who would call a girl like Marcella a thief.

Wiping my eyes I stood and started my way on to blackwall manor. Eyes hard and cold. I would have answers, and old man Obadiah would give me answers, or sit and rot as I fed the book to the obelisk. Actually I liked the sound of that.

Marcella....

/

/

The Lighthouse

Grunting in frustration I gave the giant glass bulb on last twist as it finally snapped into place.

Wiping my brow I stepped back with a bit of a silly grin. 'Let there be light!' I crowed to the sky,

Actually, I still needed to flip the power switch before any light was to be had.

Feeling quite pleased with myself I sauntered over to the electrical switch and leaned on the railing beside it. I loved the lighthouse. Up top above the birds and the clouds there wasn't a thing in all the swamplands that could reach me. It was probably the safest place I had been since I pulled up to the docks.

Reaching over I gave the lighthouse switch a a quick flick.

Instantly the lighthouse beacon flared to life directly into my face. Giving a startled gasp I stumbled backwards and feeling the metal bars on my back realized to late that my momentum had flipped me over the railing. Eyes bulging I went head over teakettle down towards the rocky base of the lighthouse.

In the end all I can say is thank god for conveniently wandering mirelurks. The landing hurt like a bitch but at least I ate well that night.

/

A/N Looks like the story traffic function is working again. It fills my squishy little heart with joy! Next chap might be a little darker then my usual fair. I'm still experimenting with writing styles which means I have to go through every genre eventually. And The Punga arc seems to be a good time for some heavier material....here's hoping I can pull it off.


	12. The longest Journey

Chapter 12

**Traveling the wastes can be dangerous, try not to feed the Yao Guai.**

Hoarding tendencies and Nadine

/

'So I noticed that one trunk under the bed is locked.'

'Huh?...oh right, yeah that brain stealing jerk gave me the key and told me I could stash my loot here back when I first arrived.'

'So you put all the crap and treasure you collected in point lookout in that trunk?'

'Yep.'

'mind If I take a look?'

'Feel free.'

'holy crap, what's with all the booze?'

'Hey hey, a girls gotta keep her stock supplied. What if I ran out? And this is the only place that has moonshine, you know how much the average wastlander would pay for that stuff?'

'Are you fucking kidding me? There's ____ jugs of moonshine in here, and...jeezus look at all that beer! And whiskey! And and...hey mind if I.....?'

'ohh I'm sure we can come to some sort of arrangement. '

/

Animal Friends

I looked at the molerat, the molerat looked back at me. Then walked away.

'What? I'm not good enough for you? I'm twice the molerat you'll ever be! arrogant sonsofbitches_..._' I muttered as I made my way back to Megaton discreetly giving my arm a sniff....maybe it was the smell?

/

Welcome home Madam!

'Wadsworth I'm home!'

'Welcome home madam it's good to see you alive and well.' Taking a moment to actually look at me he quickly amended. 'Well, it's good to see you anyway.'

I snorted. 'Thanks wads, anything happen while I was away?' I asked as I tossed my sack of loot into a corner to be sorted out later. The big heart shaped bed in the middle of the room was looking rather seductive and inviting after the grimy fungus covered mattresses of point lookouts motels.

'You had one visitor actually, a miss Moira Brown. Lovely young lady, she stayed for for a cup of water and we had a lovely chat about the intricacy's of Mirelurk reproduction. She also seems to think that she is quite responsible for your death. Might I suggest you pay her a visit sometime in the near future? Oh, and try not to scare her off. It's so nice to have company now and then, not that I don't miss your pleasant demeanor when your not around of course.'

The last part was said slightly too snidely to be quite believable but without that touch of arrogance wads wouldn't be wads.

'I'll see her in the morning wads'. I chuckled striping out of my recon armor and making my to the bed. I had been intending to visit her anyways, after all I had a bag full of fission batteries and that jukebox she had stashed away would look great in that empty spot upstairs. With thoughts of music in my head I slipped under the red silk covers and closed my eyes.

'…..'

'…..'

'…...wads?'

'Yes madam.'

'Make sure that probulator is gone by the time I wake up.'

'I'm sure I don't know what you mean madam.'

'Good night wads.'

/

/

A/N sooo....turns out that darker chapter I mentioned turned out a lot darker then I intended. I decided to leave it out for now, maybe it'll pop up in a flashback later or something. Or not, I kinda scared meself. by the by, got a really nice reveiw for chap 11, glad ya liked it. Saving Nova for special occasion.


	13. Exploration

Chapter 13

**The Wasteland Survival Guide, all you need to know.**

Animal Friends 2

/

'Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy? You are! That's right you are!'

'Roooawww!'

I really don't care what people say, Yao Guai are just big friendly teddy bears. Take this one for example. I had found him just outside the walls of Megaton and after giving me a few cautious sniffs he was rolling around begging to have his belly scratched. Honestly who can resist those big brown eyes?

I was quite surprised when laser fire cut through the air in front of me and sliced off a big chunk of the poor guys hide. Bellowing in surprise and indignant rage the Yao Guai got to his feet and barreled down the incline towards the red and black robobrain. I briefly considered helping him out before two wastlanders in red and black power armor started shooting there own laser rifles at my poor bear. Giving a heartwrenching groan the Yao guai fell to the grown, the smell of burnt flesh fillng my nose.

'Watch it local, come any closer and your next.'

'lets just go, if she didn't even notice a Yao guai following her then chances are she's not going to last long out here anyways.'

'Damn locals, why don't you go bother the brotherhood or something?'

And with that they left, the robobrain trailing behind with it's head turned to look back with what I swear was a guilty look on it's....face.

'Hey,' I muttered somewhat lamely.

/

Super Mutants

The first super mutant I ever saw never saw me. Thank god cause it had a freaking minigun strapped to it's back. I for one, preferred to leave giant green freaks with heavy weaponry alone whenever possible. The second encounter went far better. This one only had a nailboard and was busy fighting off a couple of feral ghouls down in the metro station. It was doing pretty good too until one of the ghouls got behind it and started wailing on his back with it's fists while the other one stayed up front distracting it. Pretty smart for a couple of ferals. Still, it wore them down enough that a couple of shots from my observation spot down on the dimly lit tracks was all it took to take them down after the big guy fell.

Sometimes the world just gives you one on the house I suppose.

Ugly bastards. Still easier to look at then a tracker though. And they're such a nice shade of green.

/

Feral Ghouls

Ferals, don't be fooled by there resemblance to guys like gob and desmond. Ferals are quick, vicious, and a pain in the ass. Especially the ones that pop up out of goddamn nowhere down in the metro tunnels. Turn on your pipboy light for just a second to look in a trashcan and as soon as you turn around your face meets the curled fingers of a feral drawn in by the glow and the allure of fresh meet.

These guys are as good as zombies and the guilty pleasure of blowing there heads off is a common pastime in the wastes. Just.. you know, try not to get too excited. Normals ghouls get a little touchy on the subject.

'For christ sakes Gob would you let it go already!'

'You killed my grandpa!'

'He was feral! And trying to eat my face!'

'He owed me money!'

/

Agility+1

'Would you relax already?'

'I'm not sure about this, why do I have to take my top off?'

'I like you, Nova really likes you, and even Gob has good things to say about you, but you want me to deliver a letter to your family in a town out in Mutie country that's gone silent without the slightest bit of incentive?'

'My father would be more then happy to compensate you...'

'Just once I'd like to meet someone who'll admit that they're sending me off to what's likely my death without any intention of paying. No, I'm getting my compensation upfront. Now you promised to help me with my training, so take the damn top off already!'

'...alright! Fine, geez... I'll take it off.' "_strips_"

'Good, now the pants.'

'What the hell kind of training is this?!'

_'Intense_ Training!'

/

/

A/N Perks are fun! so many...options.


	14. Some Music

Chapter 14

**Try using your Pipboy! It has all sorts of handy functions.**

Tuning in

_'This is THHREEEEE DAWG here in my fortified bunker nestled deep in the D.C. Hellhole. Aint life grand. And heerreee's the news!_

_Children, you are not going to believe this. I have here, in our very own GNR radio station. An actual vault dweller! I know I know right? What the hell is some girl from the vaults doing wandering around when she could be nestled deep in of one of the few truly safe places in the wastes? Well, she ain't talking bought that. What she's talking about are guns, super mutants and a whole lot of ass kicking._

_But three dog, I can hear you wondering. What can some coddled vault kid hope to do out here in the capital wastelands? Well, kiddies I don't know the details but I personally watched this kid shove a mini-nuke down a behemoths throat and if that doesn't spell badass then I don't know what does. So all you muties better watch yourselves out there, cause old three dogs gone and hired himself a little "added " security. _

_Till next time kiddies, this is THHREEEEE DAWG bringing you the News! No matter how bad it hurts...and now some music.'_

'...you realize that people are trying to kill me right?'

'Ahh I'm sure it'll be fine.'

/

/

A/N Apparently I do not actually own fallout 3 or any of it's characters. I assure you all that this must be some mistake and will be....corrected, as soon as possible.


	15. Looking Back

Chapter 15

**Food is scarce in the capital wasteland. Hoard what you can and live off the land whenever possible.**

That deadly Raider flavor

/

'Hey, you hear something?'

'Probably just a radroach, fuckin things are everywhere.'

'No I heard somethin, sounded like maybe chewin...'

'What?! Lenny that fuck , he was holdin out on us, Hey Lenny! Open up you fuck we know you got food in there! Lenny! Lenny?! Oh hell,'

'Shit! Is that bitch eating lenny?!'

'Hey, you guy didn't like him anyways right?' "_munch, crunch_"

'That's not the point!'

/

Lyons Pride

'I don't know who you are but you don't belong here!'

'Why is it that everywhere I go I always get some asshole telling me that?'

The blond in the power armor looked startled at that. I imagine she wasn't used to wastelanders being anything but awed in the presence of the o so great brotherhood of steel. Frowning, she seemed to size me up.

'We're heading GNR radio station, you can tag along if you want. Keep your head down and try not to do anything stupid.' With that she turned and gestured to the rest of the brotherhood members in what I assumed was code to move out. Or maybe she was telling them not to shoot me, or maybe to wait till I turned around to shoot me. Either way they all started marching their big metal boots deeper into the ruins of the D.C. Hellhole.

'Yes mam!' I pulled a mocking salute and trailed behind. Rifle ready. Just because there were meatsheilds available doesn't mean you put your gun down, not for a bloody second.

'Are you staring at my ass?'

'Maybe?'

'Stop it!'

/

Initiate Reddin

'I'm Alive!'

'Yes reddins we know.'

'My legs! They're still attached to my body!'

'We know Reddi..'

'My dog tags, you get me? Mine! Not yours, no salvage for you!'

'Damnitt Reddins would you shut up already!? We need you to calm down and let her go before you strangle her.'

'but she's, she just..'

''She'' is currently turning purple. Reddins you idiot, your still wearing your power armor.'

'What? Oh! Crap I'm sorry! Hey, wake up! Sarah the vaultie won't wake up! What do I do?!'

'Try slapping her a few times.'

/

/

A/N and that's how vault gall wound up at GNR outpost. I think the Malls nearby?


	16. Life Happens

Chapter 16

**There are many different ways to accomplish the same goal, try experimenting.**

Willow

/

'Another human with a death wish? Welcome to the mall tourist.'

'Gah! Where the hell did you come from?!'

'Nice to meet you too...my names willow by the way.'

'Sorry, super mutants...ammo low....and stims. Wow, you have really nice hair! Ack, I mean for a ghoul, I mean ghouls don't normally have...um.......sorry. Kinda strung out here. Did you say a city of ghouls?'

'Sure did tourist, underworld. Straight inside the museum of history. Most of the residents ain't crazy about humans, but they'll sell to you and fix you up so long as your caps are good and you aint a ghoul hater.'

'..mutants...chasing..'

'Oh don't worry about them they don't bother us ghouls, maybe they see us as kin or something I don't know. They won't bother you here in underworld smoothskin.'

'…..awesome. "_collapses_"'

'damn tourists, I don't get paid to drag your sorry ass to the medic you know.'

'….caps?'

'Now your talking my language.'

/

Playing Doctor

'Do you mind if I try to revive her?'

Barrows started at that. I think I may have surprised him. I suppose the few humans who had made it this far into D.C. Weren't commonly medical professionals. Neither was I when you get right down to it, but I'd patched myself up enough times the get the gist of the basics. And doc church had me assist on occasion. Guess he figured if I could rewire a bomb then I could rewire a human.

Anyways, barrow figured so long as I had the ability then I was free to take a crack at it. So long as he and the nurse got to watch and see what I was doing.

'Works for me!' I agreed jovially, snapping on a rubber glove.

/

'hey...where am I? How long have I been out?'

'Few days give or take. Gonna have to ask the doc for the details ,you're Reilly right?

I've heard of you guys, heard you pack some serious firepower. Next time do yourself a favor and point your guns at the guy your aiming for alright?'

'Reilly growled at that. 'My guns are going to be aimed at you if you keep mouthing off.'

'I'm sure your bullets could cut glass.'

'What?'

'Just put your shirt on and be grateful.'

/

The Statesman Hotel

'The things I do for a pretty face.' I muttered, taking aim as yet another super mutant came crashing through the cheap flimsy hotel room door. In a way I was almost jealous of there ability to proceed completely unhampered by modern inconveniences such as...oh I don't know, locks.

At least I was well stocked with stimpacks from the hospital, itself crawling with mutants. Really I should just have blown the whole building up and climbed the rubble to the top. Actually that's a tempting though. I almost went back to do just that but laziness won out. I had already climbed most of the way up and cleared out dozens of super mutants already, how many could there possibly be left anyways?

'You'll never stop us!'

Damn Murphy and his laws, damn them to hell!. Well, line of the shot, pull the trigger and....oh crap its a master! Operation run like hell and drop frag mines behind shall commence now!

Dashing backwards I wound up tripping over a centaur, where the hell do these things come from anyways? I wondered as I shot it in the face. Laser fire cutting through with enough force to splatter me with it's gooey insides. Ewww yuck, yuck Gross! All right, ta hell with conserving ammo. Eat hot lasery death! And with that I pulled out my Gatling laser. Unleashing a barrage of fire into the super mutant masters armored chest, cutting through the cheap metal and powering through the greenish flesh behind it.

My only regret is that the moment I let up the fire a grenade bouquet dropped down and blew the already dead mutant to pieces.

'…..Fuck.' I swore, Was that there the whole time? coulda just waited for him to blow himself up.

/

Charisma +1

'Your not going to train with me anymore?'

'There's as much a chance of us doing _that_ again as you do getting my family's permission to do it, Now go find out what happened to them like I asked you too!'

_'Look, take this it's the key to vances sword cabinet just...'_

_'What is it?'_

_'you have to promise not to eat my sister.'_

_'...now when you say "eat my sister"'_

_'I mean my sister is not a snack tray.'_

_'...now when you say "snack tray"'_

_'I mean don't go drinking my sisters tomato juice!'_

_'well she does have a fine set of tomatoes.'_

_'...just don't kill her, alright?'_

_'oh! sure thing, not a problem. You mind if I train with her instead?'_

_'What kind of training?'_

'_**Intense** training.'_

_'Yeah ok, why not?'_

'oh you goddamn bitch......you told them, didn't you?

'I can neither confirm nor deny your outlandish accusations!

'....how'd they take it?'

'Well, your parents died and your brother ran off to join a cult.'

'......'

'I really think it was the best of all possible outcomes.'

/

/

A/N You know what would taste good right now? A glass of chocolate bramin milk.


	17. Life Continues

Chapter 17

**And that's the end of page 2 of the wasteland survival guide, turn the page again for pages 3 and 4!**

Little moonbeam

/

'How are you going to spend your caps?' Sydney asked as we made our way to the front,

'First aid station,' was my immediate reply. I'd been losing money to doc church hand over fist. It'd be nice to finally have my own medical supplies for a change. Hell, maybe open up a clinic of my own and let him sweat a little.

'Well aren't you the responsible one. She teased, 'not me, Wine women and song are on my shopping list, and the reward from this retrieval will last me a couple months at least.'

I stopped and craned my neck to give her a sideways look. 'You really go on these missions just for enough caps to get laid?'

She was looking rather awkwardly at the floor, 'Well, It's not like women around here are eager for that sort of thing. '

'You're not looking hard enough.' Was my blunt reply.

'Care to point me in the right direction then?'

'Next time your in megaton try the first house on the left, there's a wild little number there I bet would be more then happy to help you out.'

'….your not just teasing me are you?'

'Scout's honor.'

/

Ice Cold Nuka cola

'Madam?'

_'hmmmm'_

'Madam?!'

_'HmmmGulpmmm'_

'Madam!!'

'Little busy here wads, whats the problem?'

'That, is precisely the problem ma'am! That hulking brute is providing you with far to much sugar.'

'But I need my sugar!'

'Don't be ridiculous, my fluids are much healthier for you.'

'What did I say about innuendo?'

'Don't be ridiculous ma'am, there's no such thing.'

/

Tribal Wear

'Wow, I've never met a girl with abs like yours before.'

'Oh? you often go looking?'

'That's not what I meant it's just...damn you are ripped!'

'Thanks.'

'so whats your secret?'

'I collect bobbleheads.'

'Bobbleheads?'

'Yup.'

/

paradise falls

'Sorry doll, I just can't sell you any o my merchandise.'

'Why the hell not?'

'You're the goddamn ambassador of peace that's why the hell not!'

'...really?'

'That's right.'

'so....I'm suppose to be the good guy?'

'That's what I've been sayin girl.'

'Well, if you weren't planning on selling me anything why'd you let me in?'

"_click""click""click""click""click"_

'oh.'

/

/

A/N I'm trying to decide between The Pitt or Anchorage. Also soda or vodka.


	18. Good Company

Chapter 18

**didn't you have any traveling companions? You know, someone to watch your back? ...**_**Random Pitt Slave**_

Green eyed monster

/

_'are you sure? I got caps. I could take care o ya.'_

_'Ahh, your sweet Jericho but I'm a lifer. Best keep things purely professional.'_

_'yeah, yeah...'_

Jericho eyes widened from where they peeked under his covers.

It was late at night, shadows raced across the ceiling and every noise felt like a thunderclap.

Someone was here...

He slowly reached for the bedside table where his handgun lay loaded.

Thrusting his gun ahead he swiftly sat forward and flicked the bedside switch, flooding the room with light.

_Empty..._

breathing a sigh of relief Jericho fell back onto the bed and closed his eyes, feeling the sweat roll down his neck and his eyes stung slightly.

Jericho's felt his heart spasm as he a new weight crawl onto the bed.

Blinking once, Jericho found himself an inch away from the painted eyes of a clown.

"**sO_o_, _yO_U a_nD_ noVa H_Uh_?**'

"_Shink"_

_/_

Slavers

'Why are we here again?'

'Man up already! Someone needs to keep an eye on those slavers!'

'For crying...would you just admit you wanted to buy one already!'

'It's not fair! How can they deny customer service?'

'You do tend to leave bodies wherever you go...'

'Are you calling me a slob?'

'Among other things.'

'Charon!'

/

Butch

'Fucking door...'

'Serves you right butch, Punching the vault door won't open it and next time you could really hurt yourself.'

'That other chick got out didn't she? Well I'm next!'

'And how are you going to do that if you can't even get the door open?'

'I'm still working on that part.'

'Whatever, could you leave the bangs long? I'm going to try growing them out.'

'Trying to catch someones eye are we?'

'Wellll...I have notice Gomez looking my way lately...'

'you _have_ to tell me all about it.'

/

/

A/N Did I ever mention that she managed to pick the lock on room 1k? I'm pretty sure I did...well, give a clown a knife, and that clown will go stabbing the competition.


	19. Storming The Pitt

Chapter 19

**It was neat, ya know? She was an oddity here. She'd do her work then walk around chatting with everybody. …..Bones**

Speech Check 93%

/

'Lucy? C'mon Lucy don't do this, please don't do this.'

'You sure do whine a lot, ynow that?'

'Well, think about what I'm whining about! You're selling me into slavery!'

'It's just a six month contract.'

['It's work!'] **_FAILED_**

'Yeah, honest work. Something I think should calm you down for awhile. Honestly, who goes out for weeks on end only to come back with a sack of loot and a new scar every time?'

'I gots me a system!'

/

Pitt stories: Shining Armor

'Crapcrapcrap!'

My legs pumped as fast as I could make them as I wobbled back and forth across the wastelands, A small hoard of insect life only a few hundred yards behind me. This was not the best time to be wearing the extremely expensive set of power armor I had salvaged back at the mall. Something was wrong with the way I moved and how the power armor preferred to move. With both legs locking up and jerking out of synch I wound up stumbling into a pond and sunk like a human filled chunk of metal.

The next three minutes were before I blacked out were...hazy, to say the least. A lot of dark shadows, a few flashing spots and the ever important need for air made moving a lot harder then it should have been. Briefly I cursed myself for not worrying about the specified training the owners manual insisted I obtain before use. It was just a goddamn suit of armor. It shouldn't be this difficult to move in! I made it a foot away from air before I blacked out.

Next I woke I was in some cave on a pile of dead bloatflies and my face covered in spit.

I spent the ensuing three months drunk.

/

Nola The Medic

'The best stories are shared around a burning barrel, shared only with the sick and diseased. So that they may say, I have value, I have worth! If you keep me alive I will one day share them with you!'

That's why you treat the other near-trogs?'

'Yes, if I have good stories to tell and promises of the best...then when I start to go I'll have someone to take care of me, and tell my best stories to...'

'…..'

'don't start crying on me now, It isn't as bad as it sounds...'

'I'm not crying! I just...got a little rain in my eye is all.'

'All the rain around here is acidic, either your lying or your about to go blind.'

'…..I find your brains sexy.'

'Really? Most people just keep telling me to sew that patch up.'

'…...I can see your parietal lobe.'

'This is going in a strange direction.'

/

Pitt stories: Hail the King!

There I was, the corpse of the king of roaches at my feet. I sat on his throne

There they were, scurrying this way and that, and over this and over that, And! Occasionally each other...

There it was...the Flamer. Clenched in my fists. Knuckles white.

There I went, Into the hoards. Trailing smoke yet silent and invisible with the glow of a stealth boy.

There it was the, soft chimes echoing in my head and the soft hum of my own voice in an old victory salute.

I Felt no guilt! For the blood they shed is not one half the blood they would have shed whilst refusing my offers of coexistence.

And I washed all my cloths afterwords cause whatever that guy was doing up there on his throne, it was some seriously messed up shit.

/

Coworkers

'Hey help me move this iron beam would ya?'

'sure thing friend.'

'Thanks, so how long you here for anyways?'

'What do you mean?'

'I mean how long you got left until you can go home? I just have a six month contract myself.'

'Oh? how'd you manage that?'

'Well...I didn't really. Kinda pissed off this girl back home and she figured this would be decent payback.'

Adan looked amused, a little too amused.

'She sold you into slavery cause you pissed her off?'

'I know right!? Women just blow things way out of proportion.'

'Psst, women.'

'yeah, women.'

'…...'

'…...'

/

7 fuckin %...damnitt!

["Wouldn't you rather have some Med-X?"] **_SUCCESS_**

What? you have som.."_jabs with needle_"...well, alright. I guess.."_slumps_"

"_dragging noises_."

/

/

A/N Instead of thanking people for reveiws, I'll post this early. The gist is the same though.


	20. Through the eyes of others

Chapter 20

**Fight the trog, eat the trog, be the trog....this is the life in the pitt. **

The Good Fight

/

Darting from the shadows, a blurred figure moved across her line of vision,

Unfortunately for the pitt raider raising her rifle both the figure, and the crate of beer had long since vanished from sight.

/

Into The Fridge

'You sure you want this slop? Really?'

'Yeah load me up!'

'It's your funeral, here you go. Your in luck, I think the food today is slightly less terrible then usual.'

'Not like I plan to eat it anyway.'

'What do you do with that crap if you don't eat it?'

'I....hoard it..'

'Why?'

'Don't question my hoarding tendencies!'

/

Milly

'Maybe you should take the hint.'

'It was destiny!'

'Her names is Spook. That's kinda telling don't you figure?'

'A charming endearment I'm sure.'

'She utterly loathes you.'

'Well, At the moment yes...'

'It's the bomb bra isn't it?'

'I hadn't noticed.'

'Bet you noticed the shorts.'

'Well if you keep drawing my attention to them what do you expect to happen?'

/

Radiation Mutation

'So describe your symptoms to me.'

'My hairs turned blue!'

'...your hair was always blue.'

'That was just a dye job, this is actual blue! I'm a bluenette!'

'So go bitch to a trog, I'm sure they'd be happy too listen to you whine.'

'But..'

'No Time Off!'

'...slave driver.'

'That's the general idea.'

/

Tactical Appraisal

_Hey boss, finally got the others to talk about the temp worker like you wanted. Not sure it's gonna do you any good. ...Krenshaw_

_I think she sneaks up here every so often for chems and crap. Never caught her though. ...Reddup_

_Bitch slapped me and ran off with my beer! ...Duke_

_At first I thought she was competition, then she kissed me and ran off with my beer. ….Squill_

_My greedy little pet was always hungry, sometimes she would raid my footlocker for noodles. I let her think she was getting away with something. ...Lulu_

_Ashur said I could have any slave I wanted and I want that one damnitt! ...Faydra_

_Bingo! ...Bingo_

_She's trouble man, they all trouble. ...Trouble Man_

_No, I don't know where she got her caps and I didn't ask. Why not? Cause I'm a fuckin merchent! ...Friday_

_She was too damn friendly to be hanging around the way she did, but no one really wanted to be the one to say anything about it. ...Mona_

_Yeah man, kid was cool. Found me some smokes every now and then. ...Jackson_

_Sure I'd say Vikia got along with Lulu's bitch. I'd also tell ya the secret of immortality if you'd just let me have some real food once in a while! ...O-Dog_

_There is something frightening behind that smile. ...Phantom_

_Oh dear thank you so much for sending me that wonderful new babysitter! After Marie's wailing last night I was so tense, she rubbed all the stress right out before I knew it. Is she new on staff? ….Sandra_

/

Propping his head in one hand while skimming the results of his lieutenants investigation, Ashur felt multiple headaches start to build behind his eyes as he sat at havens front desk.

/

/

A/N That slave statue was creepy as hell.


	21. The worth of a picture

Chapter 21

**Three weeks she was here before I decided to make her my bitch, then when she gets out first thing she does is kiss my cheek. Awkward as hell trying to explain that one to the bosses. _...Faydra_**

Welcome to the Grill!

/

First time I laid eyes on the girl she was still a scab. Saw her sneaking around the grill, probably looking for stuff to swipe. When she saw me looking she walked right up to the bar and ordered a drink, and unlike the rest of these deadbeats she actually paid. After that she came by almost every night to scam drinks and hustle a few fellows at the pool table. I remember this one time, one of the slave masters bet his girl for a night after losing all his money to the kid, you should have heard Vikia scream when she sunk the 8 ball before he even got to shoot. Personally, I thought it was a riot.

/

Faydra

'Who am I going to be fighting?!'

'Me.'

'you?'

'Well, it's more wrestling then fighting.'

'that's...a lot less violent then I'd been led to believe.'

/

Pitt fighter

'You have slaughtered the best of the pitt, earned your early freedom as well as a boon. What is it you desire from me?'

'I want to do your wife.'

'...That's not going to happen.'

'What? Afraid of a little competition Mr big bad slaver boss?'

'….how has no one killed you yet?'

/

Midea

'Now remember to say.."Our freedom is in your hands"..'

'you know what else would fi.."_Slap_" ow! fuck, what the hell was that for?'

'Concentrate! Just tell this to the first smuck you find when you get out of here. Show a little cleavage if you have to.'

/

Child At Heart

'Today, Residents of the town of megaton were shocked to see the the exhausted form of Lucy west dragging herself home after four days of wild debauchery, What say you Junior reporter Simms?'

'I think we should probably cover our eyes. Back to you!'

'Thanks simms, now lets see if we can get an exclusive interview. Miss Lucy? Miss Lucy?!'

'Now is reallly not the time kids.'

_'Awww, but miss lucy..'_

_'Awww, but miss lucy..'_

'Alright! One question then I have to go. Spit it out.'

'What are you and the vaultie doing in this picture?'

'….where the hell did you get that?'

/

'How are you getting These Brown?!'

Moira was panicking., and dizzy!The crazy blond was enraged and had a hold of her jumpsuit shaking her back and forth. All over a few silly photos.. Meanwhile her supposed bodyguard was standing over in his corner looking amused with the worn edge of his own photo sticking out of his back pocket.

/

Up on the second floor, Wadsworth carefully cleaned all three of his lenses.

/

/

A/N The Adventures of Vault Gal! Watch as she travels the wastes doing vault like things.


	22. The day before

Chapter 22

**oh hel..hey! Your back! I, uh..wasn't expecting you back...so..soon.. ..._Lucy_**

Midea

/

'Why are you gathering more ingots?'

'So I have something nice to wear uptown.'

'…..'

'I was thinkin maybe leather and metal. Or metal studded leather, which do you think Sandra would prefer?'

'You are not going to harass the slaver boss's wife!'

'And here I thought you knew me.'

/

Booster Shot

'Jeezust christ!' Ashur startled as a bloodcurdling screech filled haven.

Running at top speed, Ashur rounded the corner just in time to see his wife swabbing the sobbing pitt champs arm while Marie looked on in amusement.

/

Teddy Bears

'Please honey, Just let her have the bear already'

'…...'

'She's going to keep crying if she doesn't get it.'

'…...'

'c'mon sweetie you have so many. And wouldn't you rather see her...a little less pathetic?'

'..._"gurgle"'_

begrudgingly, Marie allowed her mother to take the bear clutched in her tiny fists over to the new lady who had been blubbering in the corner.

_'Bear Meat!'_

_/_

Citizen of the Pitt

'Come back again soon! Marie and I will be waiting!'

Ashur fought the urge to twitch as his wife enthusiastically waved goodbye to her new friend.

/

Prepping the Shoot

'Wads I'm home!'

'Ah good to see you ma'am, you'll notice I've taken the liberty of setting your workbench with various chems for convenient access.'

'...are you trying to drug me?'

'Nonsense ma'am, think of it like a decorative liquor cabinet. A sign of the rich and powerful, not to mention extremely tempting to any company.'

'Awww, wads is lonely when I'm not around isn't he?'

'No, I merely wish to pretend I had such a master that could afford such things.'

'I work like a slave to buy you nice things and this is what I get?!'

'It's unbecoming a lady to exaggerate so.'

'I don't exaggerate!'

'The number of women I've seen in your bed says otherwise.'

/

/

A/N Ahhh, back in megaton. Wads spends a lot of time decorating vault gals megaton house.


	23. A Dream Come True

Chapter 23

**Persons of interest? Well, I guess that would be Moriarty, Simms, and the Vault kid. ...Megaton Settler**

Chemist

/

'You! your here for the secret of ultrajet aren't you?'

'Ultrajet? That some sort of super chem?'

'I suppose you could say that. Ultrajet is triple the potency of regular jet.'

_'I'm here for the secret of ultrajet!!'_

'Great! I have the schematic out in the back, wait here.'

'Well hot damn, this day is turning out al......hey! the hell you going? Don't you run away from me! Heyhey! Slow the fuck down!...jeezuz.......can't cat_ch_..._breath_.'

'Ha! I dosed myself with ultrajet right before you arrived! This chase was over before it even began simpleton!' "_runs off_"

_..huff..._

_.puff..huff..huff.._

'….Yeah!? well I bet your premature about a lot of things! Get Back HERE!!!'

/

Robotics Expert

'What are you doing ma'am?'

'Working.'

'…..'

'Alright fine! I'm putting together this old Mr gutsy I found.'

'I hardly see why you would bother...this pedestrian model is far inferior when compared to my own design. What possible use could it serve that I could not?'

'Metal Meat Shield.'

'Allow me to locate some scrap metal and a repair hammer or two. Wouldn't want the poor fellow to fall apart on us now would we!'

'That's the Spirit! ...of self preservation.'

'How droll. Allow me to adjust your humor array.'

'You try to adjust anything and your next!'

/

Man opener

'...now...now, I don't see why we can't be businesslike about this.'

'You sold me to the pitt last time I tried to do business here.'

'Now that's a lie. I distinctly remember selling you to a little blond haired girl..'

'who then went and sold me to the pitt!'

'Well now, how can I be bla..'

'Very Easily!'

'Yes, well if I may propose a bribe to help ease your good self into a more forgiving mood?'

'...that was blunt, what's your offer?'

'Let me introduce you to my favorite girl Clover, how'd you like the leash to her collar?'

'….just like that?'

'Just like that.'

'…..I'm still mad at you.'

'I think I can live with that so long as you get that thing away from mah jewels.'

'I don't get it, there's gotta be a catch here.'

'She's all yours, ah swear it.'

/

Clover

'I see a radscorp, I'mma gonna get it!'

_'Clover!_'...

'Look! A molerat!'

'It's not even looki.._Clover!!_'...

"_Stab, stab, stab, stab.."_

_'Clover!!!_ For christsake a raider can only die once. Knock it off!'...

/

'Wads this is Clover. Clover, Wads. Clovers going to be staying here for a while to help guard the house while I'm away.'

'Yo.'

'Charmed I'm sure.'

'Great, so you two keep each other company while I go kill a certain somebody.'

'….'

'….'

'so what's there to do around here?'

'Would you like to see a chunk of my lady's brain? Then perhaps we could visit the chem table?'

'I bet it would be more fun if we did some chems first, then looked at the brain.'

'It's nice to have company for a change..'

/

Animal Friends 3?

Two screeches pierced the oddly calm serenity of the wastes.

One was from a deathclaw, glaring down at me from the top of a rock outcropping.

The other was from me as I plummeted down from that very same outcropping the deathclaw had just thrown me over.

/

/

A/N ....luckily, the outcroppings are only about 15ft high. That does not however, change the fact that there is no animal friends 3.


	24. Along Came a Spider

Chapter 24

**We heard about her over the radio, that's when Pappy got this idea. ...Flash**

Master Trader

/

'Hey look, there she is!'

'I don't believe it, she actually came through.'

'She's carrying supplies. Quick, where's Bittercup?'

'Out scavenging.'

'Damnitt! the one time we need her and she's off collecting junk!'

'She's going to want to see her. What do we do now?'

'Make do without I suppose.'

'Then how are we supposed to entice her?'

'We still have Kimba.'

/

Gun Nut

I ever tell you about the time I killed an entire camp of slavers with one bullet?

One night I snuck into their storehouse and put radscorpion venom on the bottle lips of all their booze. Next morning they were all dead, cept for one. Couldn't hold his liquor and threw up all over himself....probably what saved the little pansy's life, Before I shot him anyways.

/

Entomologist

'Lucy!' I banged on her door harshly as Kimba and I stood outside the entrance to her megaton house.

'Maybe this was a bad idea.' Kimba spoke up, fidgeting nervously as I continued my one armed assault on Lucy's door. Periodically switching arms when fatigue began to set in.

'Nah, it'll be fine.' I replied absently. Eyes twitching upwards momentarily as a shadow detached itself from the roof and crept along the steel plates towards us.

'I mean, she doesn't even know me.' Kimba continued her worrying in the background as I discreetly watched the dark shadow creep closer and closer.

'Why can't we just go to your place?' The presence froze a few inches away, then I felt something brushing against the tips of my hair.

My face split into a menacing grin as I swung my fist as hard as I could directly above my head.

_"Crack!" _

Lucy would chose just that moment to answer the door.

'Hi? can I help..why is she on the ground?'

'I don't know! She just hit herself for no reason!'

Arms aching, jaw broken. I watched as a small spider floated down it's string of web to land gently below my left eye.

/

Painkillers

_Eedy meedy micky luu, I take my gun and point at you!_

_And should I miss and hit the floor, I'll curse my luck and shoot some more!_

_And should you flee and take the stairs, I'll pull some pins and throw in pairs!_

_And should you try and get in close, I'll light a match and you'll fuckin roast!_

/

'….Psycho! You gave her Psycho!'

'You said give her chems! So I gave her chems!'

/

/

A/N Considering turning this into a crossover. not sure...


	25. Take the First Step

Chapter 25

**Back in the wastes we would trade each other for packs of cigarettes, things aren't like that here. ...The Kid from Vault 101**

Hive of the Enclave

/

'Whoa, the hell's with this jackass?' Scratchin the back of my head with my free hand, the other loosely holding my Chinese assault rife. I leaned forward and rested my right foot on the armored backside of the figure. It was definitely power armor of some kind, Damned if I had ever seen any like it before now. This one was different, it was sparking.. tantalizing.

Closing my eyes, I let out a groan of disappointment. A completely badass suit of power armor and I still didn't know how to move in the fuckin thing.

'OwW! Fucker!' I screamed as a worker ant tried to take a bite out of my ass.

/

Big Town

Briefly I looked to a small cluster of wires and pointed them out to Pappy, a few cuts with his knife and the bright lights of the switchboard flickered on.

'It's gonna need a fresh fission battery.' I muttered grumpily. Beside me, Pappy nodded his head looking irritated.

'That's not the kinda thing we have just laying around.' He pointed out.

Fighting down the urge to kick the busted robot, I prepared myself for yet another trip back to Megaton.

'Bring Beer!'

/

Police HQ

The loud pounding of my fist at the front desk echos throughout the police station.

'Officer! Officer! I'd like to report a crime!'

'Waa can ah do fooorr yoouu?'

Shrieking in shock, I felt my eyes bulged as a giant green super mutant popped up from behind the front deck. 'Holy Crap!' I shouted as I took a step back fumbling awkwardly with my submachine gun for a moment before managing to point it at the calmly slouching super mutant.

'Iss soommthing thhe maatteer?

'You are not a cop!'

'Am tooo.'

'Are not.'

'Am tooo.'

'Are Not!!'

'Amm Tooo!!'

'Prove it then!'

The supermutant gave an annoyed huff before pointing up to where a delicate blue police cap sat perched upon his head.

/

U.S to Annex Canada

'You ever worry about getting old gob?'

'No. Ghouls don't age.'

'Yeah, me to....wait, what?'

'Don't you ever pay any attention to anything?'

'When it suits me, so you don't age? At all? Bastard!'

'Relax, you're already half a ghoul anyways.'

'...eh?'

/

Getting to Know Yourself

'You eat like a Cannibal.'

'It's a lifestyle!'

'You drink like a Hematophage.'

'It's a medical condition!'

'Rad Regeneration? You call that normal?'

'It's an experimental Treatment!'

'You know Ghoul Ecology!'

'It's a hobby!'

'What about your Rad Resistance?'

'That's..um, next question!'

'Uh huh, so why are your hands flaking all over my table?'

I felt my face drain instantly, Gob looked startled.

'Holy Fuck! I forgot to take the krevichity thing to the Dunwhich building!'

/

/

A/N I hereby declare this a crossover as of now! Watch as vault gall escapes the life sucking wastes in a very vault like manner.


	26. Take the Second Step

Chapter 26

**Everyone thought she was gone, but ain't no one leaves Clover behind. _...Clover_**

House of Mirrors

/

Exiting the cold drafts of the Dunwhich building to the blazing heat of the sun was a direct contrast to the senses. The glare nearly blinded me before I raised one gloved arm to block out the brilliance of the midday sky. I shot a crooked smile in the suns direction, relieved beyond measure. The damn book was gone for good and I had taken out that freak in the basement to boot.

A right journey into the capital wastelands very own slice of hell that was. But I was out now, standing under the bright welcoming rays with both feet firmly planted on familiar wasteland soil. Shouldering my shotgun I headed back in the direction of Megaton.

Somehow, Knowing Marcella was at peace left me feeling lighter...

/

Ghoulification

'Wads, I'm Home!'

'Welcome Ho..Good Lord! Ma'am, may I enquire as to the whereabouts of your skin?'

"_Residents of megaton looked to each other in confusion as a mind numbing wail cut through the slow afternoon chatter."_

/

The Power of Atom

'So you're sure you can do this?'

'Aye, I can heal you of your ailments, With a smile in fact.'

'I..really don't know what to say. To be honest I thought you were still kinda ticked at me.'

'Of course not, ya bomb smiting bitch.'

'Charming.. so, How are you goin..'_"Clang!","thud."_

"_dragging noises"_

/

_"See you in ten thousand years bitch!"_

Confessor Cromwell's shoulders shook in silent laughter as he shoved the sealed time capsule deeper into the radioactive mud beneath Megatons signature warhead.

/

_/_

A/N For anyone going.."But she still hasn't _______ or _____ yet!" Don't worry, no matter where she goes or who she meets vault gall carries her own one of a kind flavor....


	27. Take the Final Step

Chapter 27

**She was already insane, what does it matter what I did to her? _...WoodRose_**

_/_

_Punga Seed_

/

"_Tsk. Tsk. Walked right into another trap. Exactly how stupid are you?"_

"_This is one situation your not going to be able to fight your way out of."_

"_Isn't it funny? everything you get close to ends up leaving!"_

"_You don't seem right, not right at all."_

"_Blech. If my kid acted like that, I'd abandon it too."_

"_Dead mother, life in a post-nuclear Wasteland. Yeah, you aren't exactly blessed."_

"Do y_ou think you'll ever really leave the vault?"_

_/_

_The Denmother_

_If my head wasn't hurting so badly I imagine I would be more concerned with a all the chanting and swaying that was going on around here. At the moment though I couldn't have cared less._

_All I was concerned with was the bedding provided from the tribals and slipping into sleep until the pain had passed. Actually when you get down to it they weren't all that bad. A little cult like but given the circumstances I really couldn't blame them._

_I was still mostly out of it as I was laid onto the makeshift bedding behind the punga fruit machines, though I did notice when someone laid down beside me and wrapped an arm around my waist. confused, I rolled over and squinted my eyes trying to make out the blurred shape._

_Woodrose...I think her name was. The denmother...._

_'whaa?' I sounded drugged to my own ears and her eyes glittered like jewels over the sounds of chanting from across the punga stands._

_'Shhh..' she whispered, her dusky hand tracing circles over the pale exposed area of my stomach. 'Before your mind transcends, before your thoughts blur and your dreams become reality... this is when your at your most sensitive...this is when you belong to me.'_

_With that she pressed our bodies together and captured my lips._

_/_

_''Go..past the flesh....Escape to the mind."_

_"__Keep it up, you're almost there... wherever 'there' may be... probably nowhere."_

_/_

78,382,239 Kicks Later..

Giving one last mighty kick, old worn metal finally gave way and for the first time in ages fresh breathable air filled my aching lungs.

/

_Your skin has healed! you feel energized, renewed! It's like untill now you've been dreaming and now your finally awake. Also, due to countless centuries of radiation exposure you glow in the dark!_

/

/

A/N The Dark Chapter was a story arc centering around WoodRose as she performed fourteen tribal rituals on Vault Gall. It got cut due to content, but it's lodged too deep in my head to ignore completely.


	28. Check your hair

Chapter 28

**Of course, I always have time for you commander. How can I help? _...Kelly_**

I'll Need an Army

/

Dossier: The Ancient

Name Unknown

Advanced medical knowledge, mutations and radiation expertise.

Ground combat specialist and survivalist. (suspected biological enhancements).

_Subject was "dug up" by a small terraforming team back on earth. Initially trapped in a primitive metal capsule, subject escaped on route to the Citadel and was eventually brought in for questioning. Likely the oldest known human in existence, unpredictability and behavior concerns to be noted._

_/_

Dossier: The Master Thief

Kasumi

Sabotage, Infiltration, extraction.

Property acquisition, stealth, agile combat

_This subject has stolen extremely valuable resources from Cerberus in the past. Alarm systems, DNA encoders,guards, and various other deterrents were bypassed, and we don't know how. She was last seen on the Citadel._

/

Mysterious Stranger

_From: Illusive Man_

_Shepard,_

_I'm forwarding you two more dossiers, one is for Kasumi Goto. A master thief who's managed to escape all criminal records thus far, she has agreed to aid you in exchange for your help on a mission.. The other is a survival expert, Through great cost and effort we've managed to secure her capsule from a archeological dig site back on earth, C-Sec is holding it for you at the Citadel. Kasumi will be near a special ad terminal by the Zakera Ward entrance. The password is "silence is golden"_

_Good luck Shepard, I have the utmost faith in your abilities._

/

Shepard scratched her implants absently as she read the newest emails in her console. The commander patched Joker through briefly before setting the destination to the Citadel. Behind her, Yeoman Kelly Chambers was subtly eying her newest commander whilst attempting to hold back a small sneezing fit.

/

/

A/N I'm having far to much fun with this.. I appreciate the reviews guys. Always good to hear what people think. Sorry if the last chapter was a little confusing. It was mostly hallucinations as the warhead fed her radiation. There is a reason her skin eventually grew back after all.


	29. Adjust your uniform

Chapter 29

**Just shoot out some random probes, maybe we'll hit something and I won't have to work that damn surface scanner again. _...Shepard_**

Chem Resistant

/

'This is dangerous.' The station's medic warned me anxiously.

'Nah it'll be fine.' I replied, plunging the needle full of element zero directly into the side of my neck before pressing the injector.

Beside me the medic made an odd choking sound.

/

Kiss the Floor

_'Instant gravity's a bitch.'_ I thought to myself bitterly as I face-planted onto the floor of the station. Cheers and hoots come from the direction of the other trainees as I landed painfully in yet another suggestive position. Nearby our instructor closed his eyes and covered his face with his hand.

/

Cerberus Bitch

Reaching behind my back for the upper half of the one piece uniform I brought it up and slipped my arms through the sleeves before zipping the waist shut, securing the oddly designed uniform in place moments before a grave looking woman stepped into the barracks and locked her eyes on me.

'Yeoman Chambers?' She questioned. Narrowing her eyes at me.

'Ma'am yes ma'am.' I hurriedly clicked my feet together and snapped off a smart salute, all the while trying not to squirm under her her unsettling stare.

Nodding once, she seemed satisfied. 'You're late, the commander will be arriving shortly. Get to your post and familiarize yourself with standard operation directives before she arrives.'

'Of course ma'am.' I felt myself relax as her gaze softened slightly.

She paused for a moment, an uncertain look gracing her features. 'Miss Chambers?'

'Yes?' My back tensed, and my voice wavered slightly.

'Cerberus tries not to get bogged down in formalities, but might I suggest returning your hair to it's original color before meeting your new commander? Wouldn't want to make a bad first impression after all.'

'Yes ma'am, thank you ma'am.' I gritted my teeth as she clucked in satisfaction before turning on her heels and exiting.

/

Computer Whiz

''_What the hell is all this?_'' I frowned as my fingers worked their way over the unfamiliar controls. Psych reports, personnel histories, daily logs...a schedule! I choked as the thought occurred that maybe I hadn't planed this out as well as I should have.

//

//

A/N The life of a Yeoman.. I always figured this is what would be on her console, or did she have other duties? Somehow Kelly stole the spotlight for this chapter but we'll be back to vault gall soon.


	30. Order a Drink

Chapter 30

**The capsule is empty.. _Why_ is the capsule empty? Useless! The whole lot of you! _...Miranda_**

Volus Bartender

/

'Scotch?'

'No.'

'Vodka?'

'No.'

'Whiskey?'

'No.'

'Beer?'

'Tends to be pricey.'

'How the hell are you still in business? You have none of the essentials!'

'We have over a thousand different liquors from hundreds of different planets.'

'Congratulations, you're the first male to ever successfully bring me to orgasm.'

'But I didn't even touch you..'

'Think of how much that'll impress the fella's when you tell the story.'

'......'

'Right then! Two of those glowing pink things and three of those purple things... and what's that green stuff with the worms?'

/

Working the Club

_/humans.._

'Hey babe, you looking for a good time?'

'That's not my name!'

_/turians.._

'Hey there human, what's say you and I..'

'That's not my name!'

_/elcor.._

'Seductive, Greetings human.'

'That's not my name!'

_/krogan.._

'Hey human, guess how many?'

'That's not my na...how many what?'

_/asari.._

'Well, look at the muscles on you.. So, what's your name sweetie?'

'.....'

/

'Well, You sure made an ass of yourself didn't you?'

My face was planted on the bar counter in humiliation, I barely had enough pride to lift a finger in reply, though the intent was lost on the volus.

'No, really earth clan. Why didn't you just tell her your name? You only get one chance with an asari like that, and you blew it!'

/

C-Sec

'I'm sorry, but I can't let you board the shuttle with that.'

'What? But this is a ceremonial item of my people!'

'Ma'am, that copy of Fornax is illegal in citadel space.'

'You humans are all racist!'

'Yeah! chimed in the turian standing in line behind me.'

/

Joker

'Why is it always claws and guns? Why can't we stop off at a fuzzy planet for once?'

'Don't be an idiot, fuzzy things are all evil on the inside.'

'Isn't that a little paranoid? I'm mean sure they eat up all the attention at petting zoos but still c'mon.'

'If I was fuzzy, I'd be the kind of fuzzy that hides a big pointy set of claws.'

'I could totally see you with a bunny tail.'

'Damn right!'

'...so who are you anyways?'

//

//

A/N I'm guessing people like mass effect, thanks for reveiwing. and tune in next time for more vault girl!


	31. Catch Her Eye

Chapter 31

**I like her, She's fun. Especially when she's drunk. _...Kasumi_**

The Council

/

'I want to punch him..'

'Why do you think they always appear in hologram? We all want to punch him.'

"_A few minutes ago"_

'The council is willing to reinstate your specter status.'

'What about me?'

'The council is willing to pretend you're not in the room.'

'Words can hurt you know!'

/

Body Art

'Thank you, come again.'

I waved goodbye absently to the asari manning citadel souvenirs. To absorbed in my purchase to pay her much mind. Instant tattoos! Press them on and peel them off and whamo! There it was.. a perfect, beautifully styled tattoo. I had picked a small one, about the size of a quarter. It was a white rabitty sorta thing. I had never seen anything like it but I nabbed it anyways. Folding my ear back I pressed the small fold against it's backside.

'Why there? It's not like anyone can see it now.' Shepard remarked as she absently tapped on her omni-tool.

'Now I get to play 'find the bunny!''

'I'm pretty sure you already know where the bunny is.

'I won't be the one looking for it.'

/

The True Infiltrator

'People are talking out there, and I hear it all..'

'Your a little voyeur ain't cha?'

'What! ..I, no! Of course not! Why would you even..?'

"_singsong"_

_There's a pervert in the bedroom, just who might it be?_

_The only one I see in here is the one and only kasumi!_

_Mother's hide your children, your valuables and jewels._

_Cause when she comes a knockin, she'll take ya all for fools!_

'That..was just awefull..'

'Hey!'

'You are such a hick!'

'Am not! Stop laughing!'

/

Kasumi's Lounge 

'How did I not notice this little slice of heaven until now?'

'You were to busy singing like an idiot.'

'Firstly, that never happened. Secondly, shut up.'

'Cranky girls don't get my specially hand mixed root beer rum.'

'I'm not sure why but that sounds absolutely delicious.'

'You can tell a lot about a person by what they like to drink. I figured out your flavor the moment I met you.'

'…..'

'hmm, something the matter..?'

'…..'

'...nothing?'

'…..'

'All right, what's the matter with you? That was prime A bait and you just let it go!'

'...Kelly made me promise to be a better person.'

'...and your actually doing it? Wow, I'm impressed.'

'Don't be.'

'Why not?'

'It's a token effort, and your my witness to say I tried!'

//

//

A/N A butterfly once asked me for a bunny, I waved a tattooing needle at that butterfly.


	32. Introduce Yourself

Chapter 32

**What happens to a ghoul when it's skin grows back? Nothing, it's still a ghoul only now it's prettier. ...Dr. Mordin Solus**

/

Tankbred

/

I eyed the young krogan, he eyed me back wearily.

'...I could take you.'

'Not before I choke you with your own spine human.'

'You've got some strange fetishes you know that?'

'Blame O'keer, some of the imprints he left on the tank were.. disturbing.'

'You know, I did get that vibe off him. What was the old freak's deal then?'

'When he contacted the collectors apparently there was a.. price, attached to there technology.'

'I don't like where this is going..'

'They stripped him down and forced him too..'

_'lahlahlahIcan'thearyouI'mnotlistninglahalah'_

/

Ninja!

'Death from above!' I screeched with a savage grin as I launched myself onto Jack's rigid figure from where I was clinging to the ceiling supports, sending us both crashing to the ground as Shepard suppressed a smirk and the halls rang with the sound of Grunt's laughter.

/

Strong Back

'Give me one of each!'

Jacob looked at the slim form of the new kid. Raising one eye in speculation.

'If your sure kid.' Shrugging he turned to fetch the requested hardware from the armory shelf. None of his business if the kid collapsed in the first hour packing the heavy equipment. She'd learn on her own to pack light and save him the breath of explaining it.

'Ok.. One shotgun, one assault rifle, one sniper rifle one hand cannon and one sub-machine gun. That about does it, anything els..e? '

The kid was blinking back at him innocently, the weapons he had just handed over were nowhere to be seen.

/

Session #1

'Try cutting down on the swearing.'

'...huh?'

'If you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all.'

'…...'

'Do you have any questions?'

'…...'

'...fine, I get it. Let's try a little variation of that then. If you don't have anything nice to say, Lie.'

'Hey, that's pretty clever!'

'Now your getting it!'

'..I was being serious.'

'Oh! I'm sorry, I thought...wait, are you lying now?'

'Maaybee...'

/

Therapy Backlash

_Smirking wildly down at the shocked yeoman, I flicked the safety as I pressed the head of the muzzle onto the side of the puppies head. Behind me a kitten mewled piteously in it's cage._

_'Cat's or dog's sweetie, you're going to have to pick sooner or later. May as well be now right?'_

_'..I.'_

**'C_HO_s_E_!'**

Kelly startled as she woke up in the barracks, the low breathing of the other female crew members doing little to calm her. Kelly breathed deeply as she cupped her face in her hands and tried to block out the images of the nightmare. Succeeding little as excited eyes looked back at her in her memory.

/

/

A/N Garrus, we all know he's impressive. But just how impressive is he?


	33. Feel the Spark

Chapter 33

**I find The Code offers little guidance when dealing with her. _...Samara_**

Shepard's Crush

/

Shepard and I froze with our breaths held as the door chimed and Samara walked through.

'What are you doing?'

Grabbing the side of Shepard's head with one hand, I quickly mashed our cheeks together and turned our heads as one to look at Samara with identical innocent expressions.

"_Looking for a book?_" _'Going through your underwear?'_

Oh, right.. Innocent only works when you don't admit it. Well, there's always..

'Patsy away!' Giving Shepard a quick shove forced Samara to grasp her shoulder long enough to steady her. I took the momentary distraction to scuttled past and made my escape into the halls. Leaving the commander behind with a quick thumbs up for encouragement. She was better at talking her way out of things then I was, and they were going to be a couple soon anyways.

/

The Professor

To Kelly and Jacob it was like watching two hopped up hamsters yelling at each other. One would flail its arms and in response the other would run in circles momentarily. At one point they both stood on there heads and spun in place. All the while keeping up there impossibly high speed chatter.

/

Comprehension

'Don't laugh, I like those books. Romances, mysteries... the classics. There's something about the feel of real paper under your fingers.. kind of nostalgic.'

'What's this one... twilight?' I startled as the book disappeared from my fingers, Kasumi appeared a few feet away, book clutched in front of her and I'm pretty sure she was blushing under her hood.

'It's...a gift! Yeah, that's it. Keiji got it for me, as a going away present!'

'A going away present?'

'Yeah, you know.. from when he..went away..'

'You mean when he died?'

'..yeah.'

'So.. what's it about?'

'...vampires.'

'Yeah? Awesome! Vampires kick ass! Hey, mind if I..?'

'No! I mean, um.. I don't think this is really your kind of book.'

'But it has vampires.. how can it not be my kind of book? I drink blood!'

'…..'

'...oh, right.. I.. probably shouldn't have just blurted that out.'

/

Don't tell Anyone

Watching Grunt read that small paperback novel had to have been one of the funniest things I've ever seen. His eye's were glued to the small print inch's from his face, actually it kinda looked like he wanted to crawl right into the pages. Shaking my head in bewilderment, I made my way out of the cargo hold.

/

Drinking With Jack

'Interesting little analogy you used there..'

'I think it was a metaphor.'

'Not the point..'

'Would hyena's and varren even get along?'

'We're getting off subject here.'

'Right, let's get back to talking about your non-existent love life.'

'Like your one to talk!'

'Choice granny, I'm alone by choice. And that's what makes the difference.'

'I'm getting really sick of you calling me that, it's starting to spread.. even caught the commander saying it once.'

'Well, if someone wasn't so secretive about their fuckin name.. '

'Yeah.. how about that.. _Jack..'_

'Your call.. _Granny..'_

'..brat.'

'...any booze left?'

/

/

A/N Samara broke me heart she did. Or Shepard's heart I guess.. was that scene in game ever depressing.


	34. Share a Story

Chapter 34

**I once caught her humming some hillbilly tune, she hit me till I promised not to tell anyone. ..._Grunt_**

Session #2

/

'What was it like to be buried alive for so long?'

I blinked at the questions, kelly's curious expression growing momentarily hazy.

/

_'I'm hhuuunnngggrrryyyyy!'_

_'And thhiirrsssttttyyyyy!'_

_'And hhooorrrrnnnnnyyyy!'_

_'Grraaahhhh!'_

_/_

My eyes fluttered as the world came back into focus, Kelly was looking at me with concern in her eyes.

'It gave me time to think.' I finally replied. My lips automatically twitching into a grin.

/

Drinking with Chakwas

'So..Kelly's a biotic?'

'Poor dear doesn't like talking about her biotics.'

'What? why no..oh, she's an L2. I heard about those..'

'no.. no it's nothing like that. She's just a little embarrassed is all.'

'Embarrassed? What? Why?'

'She can only ever manage a really weak pull field.'

'oh..._"snicker"_ Ouch! Hey!'

'_That_ is why she doesn't like talking about it!'

/

Lockpick 100

Standing outside the commander's personal chambers door. I was starting to feel a little silly scratching my head.

I was going to have to figure out another way in.

/

Sidetracked

'Human variation much greater then most other species. Genetic markers from hundreds of families add variables not found in other species. The commanders own unique markers were gathered from many prominent families. The Brent's, Cloverleaf's, Murry's, Timber's, West's, Thompson's,...'

'Wait, say again?'

'Thompson's?'

'Before that.'

'West's?'

'Yeah... there wouldn't happen to be a Lucy West in there would there?'

'In all probability, Lucy is a fairly common name among humans. Why do you ask?'

'No reason...just a crazy thought s'all.'

/

Illium

Kelly poked her head into the room and smiled that sweet smile of hers.

I frowned at her, not buying it.

'Why didn't Shepard bring me?'

'Would you bring you to a planet full of women?' She replied evenly.

'…..are you saying what I think your saying?'

'Illium is an asari dominated world. Other species live there too but you'll never see more asari in one place.'

'Gurk...gah!'

'Hey, your um.. kinda foaming at the mouth a little. You all right?'

/

/

A/N ..I want chocolate milk. I need chocolate milk!


	35. Make a Move

Chapter 35

**She's good.. I watched her turn a quad into a triad from six hundred meters.. I made it a double. _...Garrus_**

Citadel News

/

_'Today in citadel news net.. The turian council member was disrobed by a cloaked figure during a private teleconference. The perpetrator has thus far evaded capture, the council is asking for your help in finding this dangerous individual. A reward has been posted by the turian hierarchy.'_

Shepard whistled softly as she eyeballed the numbers. Briefly she ran a hand across her face to activate her archon visor long enough to verify what she was seeing.

'I'm Tempted to turn you in myself.' She admitted wryly. Eyes shifting slightly as a set of doors slid open.

The mentioned squad member shot her a lazy grin from her perch up in the rafters as another armed security team walked underneath, searching for their illusive quarry. Mindlessly poking a keeper with one finger, the ancient human leaned forward on her haunches to watch the back of her pursuer's fringed heads with brightly flashing eyes.

/

How we doing?

'Well, about the ones you went out with last time... I like Kasumi, but why do I feel like I need to check the citadel for parts she may have pawned?'

'You keep taking that kid places and sooner or later bad things are going to start happening.. probably naked things too.. but let's try to focus on the bad things for a while..

It's just my opinion though, there's really no need to go spreading it around..'

/

Dis, dat, and dem..

'_Nice ass._' I observed to myself as I walked past the cafeteria line, giving said ass a sharp smack on my way bye that echoed in the instantly silent room. Ignoring it, I tried to make my way over to the lunch tables when a hand vibrating with rage shot out behind me and gripped my hair by the roots.

'Ow, fuck.. Let go of me!' I complained loudly as I was dragged into the commander's second's office, the sound of the crews laughter cutting off suddenly as the doors slid shut.

/

Drinking with Grunt

'You just drank that whole bottle of rinkal..'

'yeah... so what?'

'I don't envy your next trip to the bathroom.'

'..the hell is that suppose to mean?'

_/later.._

'Stop eating me!'

'No, you taste good.'

'That hurts!'

'Well duh, I'm eating you!'

''This isn't what I thought you meant by..'

oh, you perverted little.. That's it! I'm claiming my pound of flesh!'

/

_Crew members watched as a snoring human was dragged one handed by her hair into the med bay by an irritated looking krogan with a haphazardly patched wound covering the side of his face. Raw, chewed flesh was hanging down his cheek in strips through the bandages, dark stains soaking through the fabric before the blood could clot. The young krogan appeared more enthusiastic about his soon to be new scar then he was with any minor pain, though he did make a mental note to stop spiking the little humans drinks before she actually tried to eat someone a little softer skinned._

/

/

A/N feeling a little unmotivated, though I'm amazed at how much traffic this story's getting now that it's been moved to the crossovers section. Hello to all newcomers and thanks for tuning in. As always, feedback is enjoyed.


	36. It's not you, It's me

Chapter 36

**Welcome to Citadel News Net, I'm Emily Wong. _...Emily Wong_**

Name in the Stars

/

_Today on citadel news..._

_The search for the now infamous cloaked stripper has led citadel security to the Zakera ward, where numerous sightings of a young woman using a cloaking system similar to the one used by the suspect to disrobe the turian councilor. Upon scanning the young oriental humans DNA it was determined not to match the ones found at the crime scene. The investigation is reported to be ongoing._

/

Tonight at Eleven

_Citadel News with Emily Wong.._

_Shocking developments in the bare assed councilman case! DNA samples from the crime scene have come under heavy scrutiny. Many pointing out that the samples had clearly been planted to throw investigators into confusion. When asked to elaborate, reporters were shown several comparisons of human DNA and the sample DNA. The sample had clearly degraded years beyond what it should have, and is thus, suspect._

_/_

'Next time, ask first..' Kasumi was pouting from behind the counter of her lounge, hands busy mixing together several delicious looking glowing concoctions.

Pausing, she took a moment to add an odd little star beside my name on the clipboard of her tab list. A small bit of uneasiness trickled into the back of my neck as I sat on the barstool looking at that harmless little doodle.

'And stop looking so pleased with yourself!'

/

Drinking with Samara

'I spent my dawning years dancing, hunting and mating.'

'I mostly smacked yokels around and tried to get laid.'

'I learned so much...experienced so much.'

'I got screwed so much... and not in a happy way.'

'I...also killed, more then I can remember..'

'Long as you didn't waste the bodies s'all good, meat's hard to come by.'

'...'

_/later_

'My children will never know happiness, How could I indulge while they suffer?'

'So what you're saying is.. if I manage to sleep with your daughters without dying you won't mind hooking up with the commander?'

'That's...one way of putting it I suppose.'

'I'm grasping at straws here.'

/

_Shepard looked up from her holo-novel in slight surprise as the door to her private quarters chimed softly before sliding open. Frowning slightly, she checked her place and made to rise from the bed when a blurred blue form was hurled into the room in her general direction._

_Ignoring the sharp crack and muffled curses from inside the loft, a slightly tilting figure made her way back to the elevator, face adorned with a satisfied grin._

_/_

_/_

A/N Early update today, readers and feedback are loved in a purely platonic way.


	37. Back to the barstool

Chapter 37

**She keeps the collectors away. Like a nightlight, or a shotgun _...Jack_**

Tuchanka

/

'Rocks.' I shot a purplish monkey in my irritation, brows creasing into a disapproving frown from where I sat on the shuttles side hatch, head slowly swiveling to observe Tuchanka's charmingly rugged landscape.

'Our culture is beyond your understanding human.. These ruthless lands bred the ferocity of the krogan! these are the lands of Shiauger, Delmor and Rotang!'

'Rocks!' I yelled back somewhat childishly, under handing an example of his planet's ruthlessness at the Blood pack recruiter's quad before hopping off the shuttle. I swear.. if we ever land on a planet with a patch of green I'll probably molest the first tree I see.

/

Session 3

'The settlers were hungry and broke and you had a lot of food and supplies. Didn't it ever once occur to you to share?' Kelly's large eyes were making it difficult to avoid her gaze, instead I made a point of counting each of her eyelashes as I struggled to find an excuse.

_Shift the blame!_

'Why do you always make me sound like the bad guy? It's hurtful.'

Spotting her small flinch, I nearly lost the struggle to keep my grin from widening any further.

/

Drinking with Morinth

'Have some Hallix if you want, but wouldn't you rather be clear headed for this? I know I do..'

I grinned at her and exaggeratedly fluttered my eyelashes before popping the top of the Hallix and tipping the end into the startled asari's mouth before pulling back on the sofa to take a swig of the tabs myself.

_/_

'But you.. you're so ancient..' she trailed off. Her fingers smoothing a path down my stomach 'You see the world like an asari but even so, you are unique. You're... not listening to any of this are you?' Morinth sounded amused as her eye's faded from black back to her original pale blue.

Blinking, I struggled to pull my attention away from her cleavage. I failed miserably.

_/later_

'You survived..' Morinth seemed uncommonly lazy in her surprise...or maybe it was just the afterglow.

'Yeah.' I eventually replied, feeling a little tired myself. 'I'm missing the chunk of brain that hemorrhages when you do your crazy mind fuck bit.'

'But, your nerves, why aren't they fried?'

_Morinth never did get an answer to her question. The only one who could answer them had already fallen into an exhausted slumber. Both of the small humans arms were wrapped around the asari's legs, using them to rest her head as she slept._

/

_Where am I?_

_Carried out a heavily sedated vault girl on a stretcher and paused a moment for the asari monk to inspect her. A smile crossed the monks face as she ran a hand over the sleeping girls brow before nodding for the carriers to follow as she guided them into the ardak yakshi monastery. behind them, Morinth trailed behind to take a moment to indulge in prayer to the goddess that her offering would be accepted, and that she would be allowed to return home._

/

_Awaken Dreamer_

_I woke up on a cold stone slab, with a pounding headache, and over a hundred robed asari surrounded me in the candlelit room. Though each held herself with the natural grace of their species, there was an unnatural stillness in the room. I found it difficult to breath through my suddenly airless lungs when I realized that all of their eyes had been focused on me as I slept._

_Feeling a draft, I glanced down to find out exactly what they were all staring at._

_/_

Morith's fingers often found themselves entwined in the small sleeping human's hair as she lay in her bed, letting her thought's run silently through her mind. A speculative look on her face as she unexpectedly found herself with company the morning after a hunt. Now she found herself in the awkward position of having nothing to offer the blue haired human for breakfast, that was what was traditionally done the morning after wasn't it?

Morith paused her thoughts as the human female began moaning down by her thighs.

/

/

A/N I just found the two Mass Effect novels in the bookstore today, Victory! V^-^


	38. Finish your Drink

Chapter 38

**The other engineers warn me not to listen to her. I don't really understand why though. _...Tali_**

New Game +

/

Shepard's eyes bulged as she looked in the storage locker and found her eyes straining as she took in row after row of perfectly preserved bottles of alcohol...and guns, and clothing, various foods...and a whole bunch of other random crap.

Looking in disbelief at her companion, the deceptively young looking lady smiled back a little sheepishly.

'You said I could put whatever I wanted in here right? The lady in question tried to explain.

'Well yeah, but where did all this stuff _come_ from?'

'Stop questioning my hoarding tendencies!'

/

Drinking with Zaeed

'The hell is this?' I raised the dark bronze shot glass to eye level in bewilderment. The content's were a little more _solid_ then I was used to.

'It's a surprise, something that'll put some hair on your chest.' The mercenary leaned back in his stool and together we raised our glasses in salute.

'To Miranda's ass! May it be forever within viewing range!'

Zaeed actually choked on his drink at that, then he took a moment to fall off his stool.

/

'C'mon love, give me a hint at least!'

'No'

'One lousy hint. Is that really too much to ask?'

'One hint? Then you'll stop asking?'

'Swear on my blackened little heart.'

'Fine... It's the smoothest name in the galaxy.'

'Now your just being a little bitch.'

/_later_

_I dodged Zaeeds wild swing as the bottle in his grip smashed against the seat I had just vacated. I reached over to grip the back of his skull and slammed his head down on the counter top once, twice and then flung him off his stool to crash down to the ground. _

_Eventually Zaeed managed to stagger to his feet and sit back down at the bar to relax and recuperate._

_'Bugger.' he finally uttered. 'I guess this rounds on me.'_

_/_

It's not what it looks like!

Crewmen watched in confusion as their most entertaining squad member stumbled out of the gunnery room. Her jumpsuit was only half zipped as a blush began it's spread across her cheeks. An elevator ding soon signaled her departure. Moment's later Garrus stuck his head out nervously to scan the deck.

Shepard raised an eyebrow in his direction from her seat at the mess tables.

Feeling all the eye's looking his way Garrus cringed and rapidly pulled his head back as the door slid shut.

'I see Garrus was being impressive again.' The commander remarked conversationally to Samara as they waited for their food to arrive..

'Indeed.' was the Justicars only reply.

/

Sad Gal

The ageless human female climbed into a set of comfy nightwear and slid the lighting in the room down to a warm glow to match the light of her skin. Curling up against the furniture she taped open her omni tool and set it to record. Taking a moment to lay her head back against the soft cushion. Before long she opened softer seeming eyes as she began to speak into the Omni-tool.

_'Hey Lucy! it's uh, me..hey listen. It's been a while now... I was hoping we could talk sometime, that is..well. A lot's going on now, I'm in Space! up in the stars...'_

Softly spoken words continued long into the night, drifting away.. words barely heard across the room, and from beyond the door there was not a sound.

_/_

_'..was all it took for Grunt to start ripping..'_

_'..from the roof! can you believe it? She'll never admit..'_

_'..coulda bounced a cap right off of her..'_

_'..woulda liked you, but she likes everyone so it doesn't really..'_

_'..I miss you..'_

_/_

_/_

A/N It is my firm belief that the greatest works of fiction are deleted by their authors before they are printed. _...Zero-Vision's reason for attacking Stephen King with a chair._


	39. Order Another

Chapter 39

**I will not have decks on my drunkenness! Now get back to drinking before I fire you all for working on the job! _...Shepard_**

Intelligence +1

/

'Are you sure? It would be a simple matter to have your brain reattached. You've kept it so well preserved after all.'

_Across the galaxy in a small humble monastery, A hundred meditating asari maidens paused for a moment before slowly shaking their heads. __Outside several plants withered on there vines._

'No, I'm good.' I replied, the phantom hands clutching my spine disappearing the moment I denied Mordin's well intentioned offer. Craning my head from side to side, I vigorously tried to rub some feeling back into my arms. _'Brrrr.'_

/

Drinking with Garrus

'What are those things human females have on their chests?'

Without pause vault gal unzipped her suit and struck a little pose as she flashed the surprised turian.

'oh...ah.. wha?' He stuttered in embarrassment as his eyes found the floor. Briefly he could hear rustling as she redid her jumpsuit.

'Wow...those were..I can't seem to think of a word.'

/

_'What's wrong with him?' The commander demanded of the Dr as Garrus sat on the white bed with that same twitch as the last time he had been alone with the ancient human._

_'I think he's in shock commander.'_

_'Well, fix him! I need my goddamn sniper!'_

/_later_

'What are you doing here? Where's Chakwas?'

'I'm filling in for her today. What's wrong with you?' The vault dweller stated bluntly, smacking a reflex tester against her palms as she leered at the young crew member.

'I...think I might be pregnant.'

'Oh!...uh...hell.. screw this, _Chakwas!'_

_/_

Drunken Antics

Jack and Grunt watched in shocked fascination as the bullet tore a path though the kids skull and out the other side.

**_'F_u_CK!_ M_y B_ra_I_n Fl_uI_ds!'**

...missing her brain entirely.

'Hah!' Crowed Grunt. 'Even bullets can't find a brain in your head.'

Briefly vault girl wondered if it was worth uncorking her skull to flip Grunt the bird. Preferring to keep her fingers in her head, she settled for kicking off her boot in his direction.

/_later_

Chakwas shrieked in horror as she entered the room to find Jack, Grunt and Zaeed Sitting in a circle arround the blue haired girl as she poured a bottle of what appeared to be iced brandy into a small bullet wound on the left angle of her forehead.

_'Chug, chug, chug, chug!'_ the others chanted merrily around her. Cheering as the bottle ran itself empty into her head. Stuffing the hole with a small med patch, the kid then started rolling her skull from side to side as the others looked on eagerly. After a few minutes of shaking she tore off the patch and gestured to the others to hold out their glasses.

Chakwas felt her eyes roll up into the back of her head, swiftly meeting the floor as the ancient young lady started pouring drinks.

/

/

A/N Overlord is my kinda DLC. Though that screeching was a little rough on the ears.


	40. A Tap on the Shoulder

Chapter 40

**I don't think she realizes what's happening around her anymore. _...Dr. Chakwas_**

Solar regeneration.

/

Recording...Notes on Subject : Unusual physical properties.

_We threw all the pieces of her we could find, pushed them into a pile and set them out in the sun. Subject regained consciousness after four hours, functionality after six. ...Mordin_

/

Impressive!

Garrus was without pants.

He took this as calmly as could be expected really. Not pausing in his meal as the mostly human crew started to whisper around him. Finishing, he rose with as much dignity as he could muster and walked back to the gunnery room. Catcalls and whistles chasing him as he went.

The infamous cloaked stripper had struck again..

/

Puppies!

'No, you can not have a varren.' Shepard intoned warily.

Down on the ground, her squad mate and Urz put on similar hurt faces.

/

More puppies!

In a rare moment of camaraderie, Grunt and Jack lifted the latch on the portable varrren cage and freed another varren near the vault kid's door. Snickering to themselves, they bee lined for the elevator. Grunt punching the down button just as the varren poked it's head out of it's cage.

/

101 puppies!

'Damn it!' She shouted, leveling another shotgun blast into the varrens head. The damn things kept popping out of nowhere to try and take a bite out of her backside.

'How'd they get on the ship?' She wondered, scratching the back of her neck as she sat back onto her bed.

/

Wasteland Guru

_'What's this?' Kasumi asked in surprise as a large thin book was presented to her with flourish from her blue haired visitor. The vault dweller placed her hands behind her back and tilted her head up to stare at the ceiling before drifting her eyes over across the comfortable lounge filled with memento's and the theif's small collection of written works._

_Her eyes eventually wandered back to settle on Kasumi who was busy tapping her foot with her arms crossed. An amused expression adorning her face._

_'I helped write it.' The odd human finally admitted. 'I thought maybe.. you'd like to read it?'_

_'Why is there a giant skull on the cover?'_

_'That's actually an imprint of my face.'_

_'What? You don't look the slightest bit like this.'_

_'They say the camera adds a few years.'_

_'Oh, well thank you. I can't wait to read it!'_

_/_

Drinking by Herself

Blinking a few times, I reached further into the unknown space in the locker and felt my fingers wrap around something metal and heavy. Bracing myself with both feet against the locker, I tugged as hard as I could and with a strange popping noise.. Wadsworth came crashing out of the locker!

'Good to see you ma'am! I daresay I thought you had gone off and broken all your meats and bones!'

'Wads! What the hell are you doing in my locker?'

'What are you going on about? I simply put myself into storage until your timely return.'

'That doesn't make any sense.. What if I never pulled you out of there?'

'Oh not to worry, Clover occasionally pull's me out to do some cleaning. Poor girl can't pick up after herself to save her life.' Wadsworth replied with some irritation as he attempted to boost himself into an upright position.

'That makes even less sense!'

/_later.._

_Clover blinked in surprise as instead of pulling out a bottle of beer as she intended, she instead pulled out the sleekest. Most deadly looking shotgun she had ever seen. Cradling the weapon in her hands in silent awe, her eyes were pulled to the end of the barrel where a small scrap of paper was dangling by a string._

/

Happy Birthday Clover!

Miss ya girl, don't go killing anyone I wouldn't.

PS _say hi_ to Lucy for me will you? Thanks! Xoxo

/

/

A/N _"Currently out to lunch" See office hours for an appointment._


	41. I've been watching you

Chapter 41

**Where the hell are the female camps on this ball of rock? ...The Ancient**

Pissing off C-Sec

_/_

_'What are you talking about?' The C-Sec agent finally let out a groan of exasperation._

_The short, blue haired human gave him a dubious look. 'What are you talking about?' She shot back suspiciously._

_/_

_Origins of..._

The turian prison warden ducked behind the ledge as bullets flew past him in a deadly stream. Cursing his depleted shield, the specter and her refusal to stop shooting at him. And the useless mecs he had purchased from Eclipse.

But most of all, he cursed that blue haired bitch who had stolen his pants.

_/_

_Endurance +1_

'There have been several breeding requests for Grunt.. and one for Shepard.'

'Nothing for the wonder _**BLEEP**_ over here?' Grunt wondered, jerking his thumb at the blue suited human snoring with her feet up as they rode the shuttle down to the planet's surface. Beside him, Shepard twitched with the implications.

'_She_ has already fulfilled her requests, I suggest that the two of you "P_ick up the Pace."_ Such as it is.'

/

Session 4..Take on the Universe!

'What? No, I was outta that thing for a few years before you guys picked me up.'

'But, the Illusive Man said.. what were you doing all this time?'

'Are you kidding? I was part of the attack against Sovereign!'

'Where were you in the battle? This isn't in your dossier..'

/

_Vault girl roared her challenge as she hurtled through space toward the massive Reaper balanced precariously on the Citadel Presidium's tower, launching mines and grenades ahead of herself as she plummeted toward the bio-mechanical monstrosity._

_Absently, Sovereign swatted an itch near the top of it's head._

/

'Infantry!'

'...Let no one say you ever lacked courage_,_ I guess..'

'It's dead, I'm not. The specifics aren't important.'

'I suppose that means your taking that as a win?'

'The specific's.. _are not,_ important!'

/

Quarian Mechanic

'Is this an AI?' Tali inquired curiously, circling the primitive _though slightly intimidating_ Mr. Handy butler with fingers twitching involuntarily. Curiosity was radiating from every aspect of her being as she peered into one of wad's lenses.

'er.. kinda?' Was my rather shaky response.

'I say! Get your prying little fingers out of my _personal _areas!' Tali quickly snatched her hand back from Wadsworth's access panel with a startled yelp as a small electrical shock accompanied Wadsworth's verbal outrage. It was easy to imagine the blush underneath her purple breather as her breaths came quicker and her eyes darted from me then swiftly back to the robotic butler repeatedly.

'I thought I told you to knock off the innuendo?'

'And I keep telling you there's no such thing!'

/

Drinking with Jacob

Jacob watched the sober looking kid reach into her locker and pull out a pair of steel knuckles before marching off towards Miranda's office.

Soon after Jacob pressed the red button under the weapons stand.

_/later_

Jacob watched a tipsy vault kid reach into her locker and pull out a sledgehammer before stumbling off towards Miranda's office.

Jacob once again pressed the red button under the weapons stand.

_/later_

Jacob watched a drunken blue haired girl reach into her locker and pull out a missile launcher before wobbling off towards Miranda's office.

Jacob pressed the red button under the weapons stand.. Twice.

_/later_

Jacob watched a sloshed squad-mate reach into her locker and pull out a small bit of nightwear before Jack grabbed her and hauled her off towards Miranda's office.

Jacob started pressing the red button under the weapons stand furiously. Sweat suddenly dripping off his brow as a small _crack!_ came from under the table.

/

_Miranda and Jacob were later found admitted into the med bay. One for exhaustion, and the other for a broken finger._

/

/

A/N _"is currently enjoying a lava lamp" don't forget to put a nickel in the swear jar... Management._


	42. I think you've had enough

Chapter 42

**I knew it! It's not just the old hag.. everybody on this ship is having sex but me! ...Joker**

They're at That Age..?

_'Hey Grunt.'_

_'Hey kid.'_

_They muttered to each other as they passed in the bar, heads down and individual clouds of despair hanging over their heads. Each clutching a small shred of paper, desperately wondering if they were going to get laid that night._

_Pausing, vault girl raised an eyebrow as she tilted her head back to look at the young krogan who had twisted at that exact moment to look back at her with widening eyes. Both of them locking on to each others slips of paper._

"_oh for fuc**Damnitt!**" They started swearing. First to themselves, then later at each other._

/

Dr's Report

_'Really, I have no idea what she was thinking at the time. We can only assume the shock of the wound temporarily destabilized her.'_

_'It worked didn't it?'_

_'She lost over ninety percent of her brain fluid. She should have died from shock and severe alcohol poisoning when she attempted to replace her fluids with various alcoholic beverages!'_

_'..I'm standing right here?'_

_'Medicine can only be pushed so far before I call bullshit!'_

_'Novice!'_

_'Nutcase!'_

_'Hack!'_

_'Drunkard!'_

_'Undergraduate!'_

_'How.. dare you?'_

_'Fifty year old virgin!'_

_'….!'_

_'oh! ..sorry. I didn't think we were done yet.'_

/

Collectors

Vault girl hid behind Grunt when she saw the collector approaching, it did her little good as the tank bred grunt dropped his shotgun and started running in the opposite direction, leaving her fully exposed to the hideous insectoids multiple sets of eyes.

'Coward!' She screamed in Grunt's direction as she passed the young krogan in her retreat. Both the human and krogan hopping up and down as they ran to avoid laser fire. The collector followed angrily, chittering it's aggression as it waved it's laser beam back and forth at the dodging pair.

/

Intel Gathering

I wonder how the Illusive Man got in touch with her? _._..Shepard

_The Illusive Man watched through the glass window as the girl launched herself off his taxi in the __direction of the Reaper. Lighting a cigarette, he made a mental note to recruit the girl should she somehow survive the confrontation._

/

Shepard?

Wrex clasped Shepard's arm in a manner that suggested the krogan was truly glad to see her. Shepard was a little astonished. She later confessed to her squad mates that it had been the most touching greeting she had received since she had been brought back.

_'Finally! I die and it takes a krogan to give me a warm hello?'_

/

Hey kid, you okay?

_"Tsk. Tsk. Walked right into another trap did you? Exactly how stupid are you?"_

The lounging girl blinked, feet up on the chair as her vision tunneled and a white static filled her ears, blocking out Kasumi's laughter as Zaeed made a vaguely obscene gesture to help articulate his story.

"_This is one situation your not going to be able to fight your way out of."_

Next to them on the loveseat Miranda and Jacob sat comfortably chatting up a storm. Miranda's legs were curled up as she half laid on the seat, Jacobs head resting comfortably on her legs as they spoke.

"_Isn't it funny? Everything you get close too ends up leaving!"_

Vault girl tried not to notice, her attention locked on the Krivbeknih sitting on Kasumi's shelf as if it belonged there.

"_You don't seem right, not right at all."_

The static in her ears roaring as it grew to a fevered pitch.

"_Do you think you'll ever really leave the vault?"_

Then it was quite.. and she was once again in a metal vault, drifting amongst the stars through the endless sea of space.

/

/

A/N It's a little frightening when you need to start worrying that your muse is plotting against you.


	43. Dully Noted

Chapter 43

**I refuse to lose her over this.. not to some justicar bitch! _...Liara_**

Skill Points

/

Class: Human Survivalist

Lucky Shot [/][/][][]

Regeneration [/][/][][] _unlocked at lucky shot two_

Human Survivalist [/][/][/][]

Krivbeknih [][][][] _unlocked when vault girl is loyal_

/

Shipwide Crush

_'ok, thank you.' _

_I found myself along with the rest of the present crewmen, unable to look away from the young quaraian mechanist as she walked away in the direction of the elevators. We all stretched our necks to keep the purple suited figure in sight as she rounded the elevator corridor... One crewman stretched his neck out so far he fell out of his seat with a surprised yelp, bringing the rest of us back to reality._

_Much clearing of throats and shuffling of papers was then had._

/

Illegal in Council Space

'We have access to the extranet. The most expansive storage of information in galactic society!'

'…' "_click"_

'..What are you..? Porn! For fuc..of course...what _else_ would you be looking up?'

_/_

Horizon

'Do it!'

'C'mon, we ain't got all day!'

'Let go of the fucking ship already!'

Zaeed, Grunt and Jack shouted encouragement as they stood in the side hatch of the Normandy as it orbited a small nearby planet. Vault girl herself didn't bother to shout back as the Normandy hit some turbulence and shook as it skimmed the surface of the planets atmosphere.

'_Who's idea was this? Was it mine? fuckin hell!_'

Jack pulled herself up onto Grunt's back for leverage to whisper something into the young krogans ear. Shrugging, he picked up a spare helmet and chucked it towards the girl desperately clinging to the side of the ship. Her fingertips leaving grooves alongside the metal plating of the hull as the helmet bounced along the side of the ship towards her. It slammed right on top of her fingers, crushing three digits before smacking against her face and dislodging her from the side of the ship.

Spinning off towards the planet, the squad mates could soon barely make out the blue clad figure as a familiar golden glow began to surround it's frame.

They did manage to make out that both of the figures arms _and one middle finger,_ extended in their direction.

/

Mordin's Notes: Survivalist

_Well, subject missed most of the latest battle. we once again had to scrape off as many pieces of her that we could find and put them in a pile out in the sun. she regained consciousness after seven hours, functionality in two._

…_.subject is roughly half a foot shorter... odd._

/

/

A/N _Looking into my wallet, I whimper and sadly whisper goodbye as my van get's towed to the shop._


	44. Line up the Shots

Chapter 44

**These last months have been.. interesting. ..._Thane_**

Dependency

/

'You don't die until I tell you it's ok to die!'

_Shepard and the rest of the crew watched with... conflicting emotions as the small blue blur went scurrying around the ship welcoming her squad mates back. Each with the same greeting and an accompanying hug._

/

Drinking with Tali

The vault kid looked at the bottle of brandy in her hands before turning her gaze back to the purple clad quarian sitting curiously on the bar stool. Briefly she ran a mental image of herself tapping the bottle against the quarian's purple fogged faceplate in a vain attempt to bypass the tinted glass before dismissing the thought.

/

'So.. where are the pressure sensors on your suit?'

'Guess.' Tali replied distractedly, swishing the undrinkable amber liquid up to the rim of her glass as she spoke.

/

_Tali found herself writhing on the floor as her frantic companions hands roamed across her outer layer, methodically searching for a way to increase the intensity of the young quarians wrappings as they pulsed in an odd vibrating rhythm, affecting several rather sensitive areas along the purple lined rims of her bio suit._

_Crew mates would later tell a slightly more provocative version of the encounter in hopes of distracting themselves from their own burning jealousy._

/

The Price of Revenge

'Hello?' Vault girl cried out into the surrounding wilderness as she stomped about the densely packed vegetation.

Vault girl was lost.

'...fucking mercenaries.'

/

Gun to my Dread

'It's here!'

With a startled yelp of surprise, Kasumi narrowly managed to throw herself against the side of the loveseat as a blue suited figure barreled past. A small, dark and rectangular shape clutched in her fingers.

'Hey! Watch the feet!'

She immediately regretted opening her mouth as she found herself nose to nose with the shorter girl's rectangular prize as it was shoved under her hood. Eyes crossing momentarily, she blinked twice to refocus before narrowing them at the offending packet.

'What is "P3P"?'

_Obviously vault girl's answer was to answer to curl up against the young thief on the loveseat as her fingers struggled to locate the 'on' switch for her nearly forgotten hand held gaming device._

/

Sexy time

_Under EDI's absurd suggestion, vault girl lay naked underneath the core room floor, pressing two wires together in a vain attempt to restore power to the primary grid. _

_'It's all it the timing' edi reminded her, the hull of the ship shaking slightly each time the wires connected. Edi adjusted her camera's focus and shook as another pleasurable surge swept through her frame as the shaggy haired girl pressed the wires together in a more steady rhythm.._

Down in engineering, Tali's eye twitched as the floor shook underneath her feet.

/

/

A/N Horrible...horrible week. "burrows under blankets"


	45. Knock em Back

Chapter 45

**Was this a good idea? Probably not.. funny as hell though! _...Joker_**

Iron Fist

/

She bit back a curse as she bent her spine backwards to look up as the green scaled fist passed inches away. Since she was bent over anyways she continued her backwards momentum, forcing herself into an awkwardly executed back flip. Catching herself with both hand's to the floor, she took advantage of the unexpected position to lash out blindly with one foot as she attempted to locate the rapid movement's of her drell companion..

_Thane watched as his oddest student's foot made contact with one of the life support power cables. Sending untold amounts of energy crackling over the girls skin as it went along it's merry way through it's newest conduit. Her pained yelp echoing in the life support chamber's roomy and slightly arid environment._

_He grimaced, the certainty of the blame he knew would fall on his own shoulders as the overhead lights flashed into the the red warning beacons as the ship reacted to the damage._

_Tali was going to be pissed.._

/

Zaeed's Obsession

'God dammit, will you just give me another fuckin clue already?.'

'I already gave you one, deal.'

'That was a hint, not a clue. Besides, what the hell kinda hint is "smooth" anyways?'

'Well, suck it up! It's a legitimate hint!'

'Whatever.. I still want my clue.'

'God damn invasive mercs.. fine, a clue eh...'

'….'

'….'

'….'

'Shades tend to make my name seem smoother.'

'Your really starting to piss me off.'

_/_

Blood Ties

'Read it.'

'No.'

'Read it!'

'No!'

'Come on.. stop being such a coward and just read the goddamn book! You'll like it, I swear!'

_'Not a chance in hell!'_

_/_

_Samara paused in the doorway of Kasumi's lounge as she watched the young thief and blue suited human wrestling down on the floor. _

_Leg's entwined and hip's thrusting as they fought for dominance over the small rectangular object which had been thrown to the side and forgotten nearly instantly to land near the Justicar's feet. Soon enough the sound's of struggle intensified and were slowly replaced with soft eager moans and the sounds of zippers being pulled as the argument was apparently forgotten and forgiven in place of more pleasant persuits._

_Cheek's burning, the serene woman turned on her heel to leave the two to their activities, pausing long enough to snag the small novel that had caused all the commotion from it's landing spot near her feet._

_/_

Cutest Thing Ever!

'You're my hero ma'am! I want to be just like you when I grow up!'

'Do you know any good secrets?'

'Well.. Momma built a safe in the floor of our house. She keeps all kinds of cool stuff in there. I shouldn't tell you this. But, the combination is 15-16-23-42 if you wanna take a look.'

_The ancient human watched with an oddly persistent tingle of dejavu in the back of her head as her eye's followed the adorable little asari child scamper back to a pair of nearby asari matrons. Throwing a wave and a grin behind her as she went before tripping over her own feet and crashing down to the floor._

/

/

A/N The Lair Of the Shadow Broker! Liara shall finally explain what the hell's up. Anyone else looking forward to it?


	46. The Room be Spinnin

Chapter 46

**Daisy, Daisy, Give me your answer do/I'm half crazy/all for the love of you! _...EDI_**

Artificial Intelligence

/

'Where the hell is legion?'

'Why are you asking me? Did you check your locker?'

'Only inanimate objects can be put into storage.'

'Like an unconscious cyborg?'

'….holy hell!'

/

_Vault girl yanked hard and with a pop! Legion came tumbling out._

_'Stay out of my locker!' The blue suited pipboy techician shouted at the downed geth with slightly less sympathy then the artificial lifeform would have anticipated from a fellow mobile platform._

_Down by her feet, Legion took a shot at pouting only to realize he was unable to move his mechnical mandibles in the proper formation to convey the sullen expression._

/

Drinking with Joker

Shepard swore viciously as she was slammed against the roof of the loft for the third time that night. Gravity failing to compensate yet again as Joker pulled another tight spin, jackknifing from moon to moon in a series of highly illegal maneuvers.

_Inside the cockpit Joker drunkenly cheered himself on as the Ancient and Kasumi attempted to mix another round of cocktails as they lay sprawled and giggly in the nearby cockpit seats._

/

Distractions

'Samara, did we forget something?'

'I don't believe so..'

'Huh, I just have this strangest feeling we're missing something.'

'Perhaps later we can meditate upon the matter.'

'Yeah... I'd like that..'

'Commander?'

/

Bro's be Smashin

'FALCON PUNCH!'

'Dammit, Grunt! You suck!'

'Ha!'

'Thunder! Quick Attack! Thunder!'

'Jack! You too? C'mon guys, stop teaming up on me.. no fair! Arrggg!'

_Kasumi would come to regret installing the outdated gaming system into the lounge. _

_Actually she wouldn't, since people started paying for their drinks in appreciation. _

_/_

Loyalty Mission

'Commander, your special friend would like to see you when you have a moment. She seems... agitated. More so then usual..'

Shepard glanced at her yeoman who seemed just as bewildered as she was. This was an oddly formal way of approaching the commander when the girl in question had previously shown little sense of modesty or personal space.

'I'll head down and see what she want's. We'll talk again later.'

_Kelly nodded and resumed logging her reports into her console. The commanders echoing footsteps fading as the severely upgraded woman headed for the elevator._

/

/

A/N Wheeee Insomnia Rules! …..I'm lying.


	47. Going Down

Chapter 47

_**What did you do when you first crawled out? I mean.. hello! Aliens everywhere! ...Gabby**_

Venturing Out

/

_Your skin has healed! you feel energized, renewed! It's like until now you've been dreaming and now your finally awake! Also, due to countless centuries of radiation exposure you glow in the dark._

_Would you like to redo your stats before venturing out into the galaxy?_

_No/Yes_

_/You Are Very..._

S/5

P/6

E/9

C/7

I/6

A/6

L/1

_/Good Luck!_

Vault girl blinked as her eyes came back into focus_. '_What the hell was that?_' _She complained loudly.

/

Pissing off C-Sec: Origins

_'Your name?'_

_'….what?'_

_'Your name, we need your name to finalize everything.'_

_'….um, George.'_

_'...uh, I don't think that's gonna cut it.'_

_'Phil?'_

_'no.'_

_'How about Paul?'_

_'How about your real name?'_

_'…..'_

_/_

Vault Girl vs Sovereign!

Round two! 

_'Admiral, I know I've said this before but the cannons weren't designed for this type of situation.'_

_Noted, now launch the missile.'_

_/_

'Vault girl Roared as she was propelled by the massive mass cannon stationed along the ends of the station.

_/_

_Sovereign's external scanners noted a small dent alongside it's outer hull._

_Scanners also detected a slight blur near a drone maintenance hatch. Suspected malfunction due to energy redirection. Resuming surface scans._

_/_

'Shields Down!' Cheered a bruised but high spirited figure as she reached for the controls. Pausing for a moment to snap her neck back into it's original position.

'Savior of the citadel. Kinda has a nice ring doesn't it?' She spoke in a grating manner to the walls as she made her way back out the the narrow shaft connecting the outer plates to the inner workings of the reaper.

_She was still celebrating when the access panel slid shut inches from her face moments before it impacted against the closing shutters_

_She celebrated less as sovereign exploded. _

_She was half a foot shorter afterwords._

_/later_

'So that's why your a goddamned midget?'

'Zaeed, shut up.'

'Never!'

/

Power Armour Training

'Don't worry, I'll be gentle.' Was whispered in her ear as hands roamed across the metal plates.

_/15 minutes later_

'I'm kinda tired, you mind if we call it a night?'

'Why...why won't it come off!'

'Don't worry sweetie, you'll figure it out some day.'

"_Sniffle_"

/

Loyalty Mission Complete

_'Behind this door is a Turian'_

_'I'm supposed to be impressed Shep?'_

_She's female.'_

_'Shepard... I'll follow you to the ends of the universe!'_

_'It's what I do.'_

_/_

Mission Report

Mission Complete

Level Up: Squad Points Gained: 2

Mission Summery: _The Survivalist has had her curiosity sated. Crewmen note she has made several remarks on dying without regrets. Also noted was the disappearance of one of Kasumi's ancient novels at roughly the same time the survivalist has been seen with a large leather clad book._

Survivalist Power Unlocked: Krevbickne_, Temporarily turns husks against their allies._

Survivalist New Outfit: Unlocked new outfit for Vault Gal!

Heavy Skin Weave: Use the research computer in the Normandy's lab to build this upgrade.

Total Credits Earned: 0

Platinum Found: 2000

Close Report

/

_A/N Ever want to be as SPECIAL as Vault Gall?_

_._


	48. Hit the Floor

Chapter 48

**_I thought love would be enough.. I guess not. ...Veronica Santangelo_**

Exit/Reload

/

Would you like to redo you stats?

No/Yes

_/You Are Very..._

S/6

P/8

E/7

C/7

I/8

A/3

L/1

_/Good Luck!_

'Better.' Vault girl thought to herself smugly, frowning as she realized her chances to get lucky had just been severely reduced... again!

'Damn it! Well, who need luck when you've got skills?'

/

Losing loyalty

'This isn't right Shepard.'

Vault girl glared at her commanding officer. Teeth ground against each other as she watched in frustration while the human spector sealed her leatherclad tome into one of the cargo holds storage bay capsules.

'It's necessary.' The spector replied firmly, narrowing her eyes at her companion. `Husks are the last thing we need around when our backs are turned.`

'They're mine.' Vault girl spoke harshly. 'You didn't have any issue's with Tali's geth!'

'That's different, these are corpses. They belong in a grave.'

'But..'

'Enough!'

The Ancient glared at the spectors back as she walked back to the elevator. Her eyes blazing holes into the commanders heavily armoured back. Slowly her gaze swivelled back to the storage locker where the Krevbickne was locked away.

_'Do I belong in a grave too Shepard?'_

She stood in that spot for several hours, her face hidden in the shadows of her hair.

/

Glitches

Garrus watched his companion eyeing a yellow clad asari gliding around the citadel reception area with a bemused look.

'Someone caught your eye?' He enquired offhand. Shifting his grip on his assault rifle as he did so.

'Well no, not really. It's just..'

'Just..?'

'she's gliding.'

With a start, the sniper realized that the asari in question had not taken a single step in her meandering. The bottom of her dress simply sliding forward as she made her rounds.

/

Speech Check

'Lucy! Check out my new shot gun!'

'Oh my god!'

'I know right? _You know who_ got it for me!'

'What! She's alive! Where is she?'

'She's stuck in the fridge.'

'...'

'You ok sugah?'

`Fine, just... absolutely fine!'

`Great! Lets go kill something!'

/

['Shepard! As your incalculably valued underling I order you to open that container!]' **_FAILED_**

'...no.'

'No desert for you tonight!'

'Your really starting to freak me out you know that?'

'What am I your mother?'

'...' "_Is suppressing a headache_."

/

Disloyalty

Bouncy balls are fun.

Toss one against the wall. It always comes back.

Toss one into the air, it'll fall back down.

Smash it into the ground, it will smash you upside the jaw upon its return.

Throw it against the wall, it'll smash everything in the room before it settles back near your feet.

Throw it away, hit it, crash it smash it and crack it.

It'll always come back.

I love my bouncy ball.

Why can't people be more like them?

/

_Do you think you'll ever really leave the vault?_

_/_

Kasumi watched with pressed lips under the camouflage of her cloak as the jumpsuit clad human tossed a small rubber ball against the metal wall of her quarters. An uncharacteristically blank look adorning her face as she sat leaning against the far wall. Each time she threw the object it bounced once against the floor before hitting the wall and rebounding back into her stretched out hand.

Never once did the ball deviate from it's pattern. Once against the floor, once against the wall, back into the hand.

An uneasy chill crept down the thief's neck as the unnatural pattern continued.

/

_Do you think you'll ever really leave the vault?_

_Did you think you ever really left the vault?_

_The Sierra Madre is calling._

_/_

Hunched against the wall, vault girl brought her knees to her chest and lowered her head as static filled her ears.

/

_The hard part is letting go._

/

/

A/N Somethings not right.


	49. Poked With a Stick

Chapter 49

_**I... can't just let him get away! ..Not after what he did... Christine Royce**_

Fixing Shepard's Tilted Head

/

'Just hold still!

'Ahhh! Ahhhhh!'

CRACK!

'Oh my god.'

'See, isn't that better?'

'Uhhhh..'

'...wow! I think I moved your spine!'

'Gah!'

/

Recruiting Morinth

The vault kid, clad only in soft cotton pyjamas and yellow ducky slippers padded to her door and opened it with an unguarded yawn. Only to find her feet lacking purchase as she was slammed and held fast against the opposite wall from the impact of a powerful biotic wave.

Morinth's face held a pleased expression as she stepped into the room and gave the door controls a swift wave. Locking them both into the vaulties quarters.

A grin twitched across her face as she sauntered over to the rooms immobile inhabitant, eyes darkening to black as she went.

/

Gianna Parasini

'Look me up next time your in town, I'll buy you a drink.'

Vault girl blink as the investigator strode away, throwing a careless wave behind her as she went. Thane looked sideways at her questioningly.

'She beat me to it.. I was just about to do that to her.' She admitted sheepishly.

Thane simply shook his head. An amused look breifly crossing his face as he sipped his drink.

/

Shepard's Tentacle Fetish

'Tell me you joking.' Garrus pleaded with the blue suited human. A comical look of disgust on his face.

'Rackni? Really...? Rachni!'

'Hey! Don't make that face.' she defended herself, flicking his mandibles with the tips of her fingers as she did. 'Just how often do I get to flirt with a queen anything?'

The pale asari watched them bicker with a confused expression as Shepard internally agreed with the survivalist. Having actually met the queen in person, she was more intrigued then she cared to admit.

/

Avina

Samara watched amused as the vault girl crossed one leg over the other with her arms behind her back, attempting to look coy as she fluttered her eyelashes at the holographic projection.

The justicar blinked in disbelief as the Avina program set her hand against the ancients face and slowly traced a finger up and down her cheek as she spoke secretively to the blue clad human in a soft monotone.

/

Mother Daughter Mediator

The observation room was eerily silent as two nearly identical asari sat staring at each other. Easily mistaken for sisters, one was clad in black and the other adorned in red.. Each watching for the slightest sign of betrayal from the other.

Between them sat vault girl, her hand held clutched in a death grip as she battled the final boss! Muted clicking noises filling the room as she sat obliviously pushing buttons.

/

_In the mess hall, Kelly stubbornly attempted to drag a poptart to her plate via biotic powers._

/

Nassana Dantius

_'The corpse of business owner Nassa Dantius was recovered earlier today. Investigators refuse to comment but recently leaked autopsy results have raised several eyebrows, as the high profile diplomat has apparently been infected with the rare and unusual... scale itch.'_

_/_

_"In the Normandy's research lab, Mordin and the vault kid gave each other a high five as they watched the latest news vids while taking apart a few spare collector drones for study."_

/

Mako

Vault girl glared at the land rover with undisguised malice.

Gabby looked on with wary amusement as she uttered death threats under her breath.

_'Useless piece of...'_

_'booster my pale white...'_

_'up! I said up you piece of...'_

_'turn around! Not left...'_

_'Am I driving backwards...?'_

Gabby decided it better not to ask and resumed her duties.

/

Bring Down The Sky

_Kate gave up trying to look her in the face. Lowering her head as she crouched in her seat. Vault girl reached out a hand, hesitating before placing it under her chin and lifting her head to meet her gaze._

_'It's not your fault.' She spoke softly to the broken engineer, holding her gaze as watery blue eyes met her own._

_Kate broke and lunged into the ancients arms, sobs racking her frame as she clutched at the blue material of the jumpsuit._

_Hidden deep in the engine room of the commercial ship they were travelling on, the two sunk to the floor, Kate sobbing as the vaultie stroked her back and sifted her hands through her hair._

/

Vault girl woke with a start, having to take a moment to realize she had passed out in one of Kasumi's lounge chairs. Sighing, she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she got up and headed for her quarters, fully intending to spend the rest of the night burrowing under the warm covers.

/

_The hard part is letting go..._

/

/

A/N Replaying ME So I can finally get a level 60 new game bonus In ME2.

I was at Level 59...


	50. I'll take one to go

Chapter 50

**The Sierra Madre is mine! I won't let you take her from me.. **_**...Dean Domino**_

Mess Sergeant Gardner

/

'Your cooking sucks!'

'Go to hell!'

'Bastard! I've eaten corpses more appetizing then this!'

/

After Provisions

"_munching noises_"

'Hey! Leave some for the rest of the crew!

No! It's mine! All mine!

'Wha..'

'Stop questioning my hoarding tendencies!'

/

Survivalist new outfit.

Rejected!

Thane choked on a mouthful of steaming calamari gumbo as he watched the diminutive human run past the mess tables with Miranda hot on her heels.

The Cerberus operative held a modified Cerberus jumpsuit clutched in her hands.

Vault girl wasn't wearing anything at all...

/

We are beyond comprehension

'Ok, just relax, get twitchy.. and think back to that moment everything changed..'

Shepard took a deep breath before shutting her eyes and tossing back her drink, navigating her thoughts back to the day she woke up in the Cerberus facility.

/

[LOAD]

Would you like to change class specialization?

Yes/No

_Former specialization... Soldier_

_New specialization... Vanguard_

_...Good Luck!_

_/_

See, it worked! Vault girl whooped in enthusiasm as Shepard bellowed in pain as element zero nodules began to grow throughout her nervous system.

/_later_

Shepard cursed as she shot herself in the foot with her assault rifle.

/_later_

Shepard swore as she charged face first into a concrete wall.

/_later_

Shepard waved sheepishly as Miranda and Jacob were tossed into the air from the force of her biotic shockwave.

/

Hope you didn't replace anything too important

Shepard reached her arms up in a lengthy stretch, unaware of jokers laser guided eyes zooming onto her torso momentarily before shooting back to her face in a deadpan expression.

'Sooo... I noticed a few upgrades.'

Shepard shot her pilot a bewildered look as edi blinked in and out of existence next to the helm.

/

Field Test

'Why are you still bothering me with this?' Shepard gritted her teeth in frustration, unsuccessfully trying to hide a twitch in her jaw as she stared down at her vertically challenged teammate. Looking at her, Shepard felt a bit concerned as she realized her companion barely reached her chest at full height.

'This isn't your decision Shepard.' vault girl ground back.

'My book, my talents, my choice. Not yours!'

'Everything on this ship is my choice! Especially untested, dangerous battle tactics.' Shepard glared back

'Coming from a damn cyborg that's rich.' Vault girl scoffed in irritation, before sneezing and deciding to save further scoffing for elsewhere.

That is not the same! My implants were put to action the moment I woke up. There is nothing wrong with them. Shepard growled, fighting back a sneeze of her own.

yeah, Miranda's field test. Nothing like sending unarmed crewmen against mechs to work out the bugs.

That was an attack! Shepard bellowed none of that has anything to do with..

'An attack from who Shepard? Who exactly hacked those mechs? Kinda strange how nobody ever followed up on that don't you think?'

Shepard stilled, uncertainty flashing across her face

'...if you have something to say then say it.'

Vault girl tuned away and started pacing agitatedly in front of the commander before throwing her arms up in frustration.

'Convenient that Miranda runs you through the attack but cuts out just before you run into Jacob.' She spat out. 'Jacob, who fills your head with just how much you owe Cerberus. Two billion credits? All the top scientists? Isn't it convenient that they all get killed the moment the project enters it's final phase? There's writing on the wall here Shepard but your not seeing it!'

The ancient leaned in close, glaring up at the commander as best she could. 'Maybe I'm not the one you should be watching out for.. isn't it about time you started looking at just where you are?'

Spinning on her heel, vault girl stormed out of the room. Leaving the commander behind as she made her way to the elevator, slamming her fist into the wall as she went.

/_Inside the elevator_

'Fucking Hell! That Hurt!'

Vault girl tried not to move her fingers as she let loose a steady stream of profanity.

/

Armour Aesthetics

'Blue.' stated Garrus decisively

'Hell no! Go with orange!' Grunt shouted his opinion.

'Can't go wrong with purple.' Tali advised from her console.

'I think perhaps a shade of red would befit the commander.' Samara chipped in.

'Green would go nicely with your eyes Shepard.' thane tried to charm

'Black.' Was all jack would say

'I would advise silver to be most fitting.' Commented EDI from the comm.

Vault girl looked away and refused to comment when Shepard looked in her direction.

'Never mind, I'll decide later.' The commander ground out. Turning to leave, the loud protests of her team followed her as she went.

/

_The hard part is letting go..._

/

/

A/N Chapter 50... heheh "_Is very.. very drunk._"


	51. Bottom of The Bottle

Chapter 51

_**You've heard of the Sierra Madre Casino. We all have, the legend, the curses. Foolishness about it lying in the middle of the City of the Dead, buried beneath a blood red cloud. **_

_**A bright, shining monument luring treasure hunters to their doom. **_

_**The world's most famous stars and entertainers were invited to its Grand Opening. An invitation was a sign of... exclusiveness. **_

_**The opening was supposed to symbolize a brighter future, not just for the world... but for all who came to its doors. A chance for anyone to begin again. **_

_**Except... the Sierra Madre never opened. The war froze it in time, like a big flashbulb going off. The Grand Opening, one big ending of humanity. **_

_**It's still out there in the Wastes, preserved, just waiting for someone to crack it open. **_

_**But getting to it. That's not the hard part.**_

_**It's letting go. **____**...Elder Elijah**_

/

/

Starboard

/

'Shepard, the womens restroom is on the starboard side of the ship.'

'I knew that.' Shepard muttered sheepishly, pulling her pants up as she did.

She was distracted she knew, thought of her disgruntled squad keeping her from focusing.

She sighed, heading for vault girls quarters. This couldn't be put off any longer.

Shepard never noticed how her footsteps echo'd in the silence of the ship.

/

Begin Anew

Vault girl cocked her head to the side as she watched her locker make odd thumping noises.

A rust colored mist drifted slowly along the seams and settled eerily over the floor of the equipment room.

Shrugging her shoulders, she reached for the handle moments before the door slammed open and a massive hand reached out and latched onto her collar. Vault girls surprised was short lived as her head smashed into the side of the locker as the deformed fist pulled her in.

/

Welcome to the Sierra Madre.

Vault girl groaned, head pulsing as she struggled to lift herself into a sitting position. beside her Shepard gasped and rolled on her side as she emptied her stomach onto the ground. Together they shuddered as a red mist surrounded them. Burning their lungs and seeping into their pores.

Above, the glowing blue face of an old man glared down at them from the hologram. Face twisted into a grimace.

/

Chained

Vault girl tugged at the metal digging into her neck as she sat with her legs curled under her on an old ruined chair. The cold metal of the collar irritating her skin as Shepard lay on a nearby couch gazing out the window at the red hued sky with narrowed eyes. The second floor of the villa they had taken shelter in kept the cloud blanketing the area at bay as they rested.

Neither spoke as heavy footsteps passed outside and the low gurgle of suited ghosts passed nearby.

/

Hoarding Tendencies

Shepard smacked the back of vault girls head in irritation. Yelping, the blue haired girl dropped a bottle of wonderglue she had scavenged from a nearby trashcan.

'Now is not the time.' Shepard ground out, Striding past toward collar 8's location.

Vault girl kept her eyes on her feet as she shuffled behind. 'It's always time for hoarding.' She muttered despondently, bending down to pocket a casino chip as she went.

Shepard didn't bother to reply.

/

Normandy

Grunt peered out from behind his tank as a fine red mist drifted in through the cargo bay doors.

/

Jack jumped from her cot and began coughing as the sulphuric cloud saturated her lungs.

/

Thane watched from the shadows of the roof as the life support chamber was shrouded in a crimson fog.

/

___The hard part is letting go._

/

/

A/N Wow, The fandom has expanded!_ "____Waves at new stories authors.__"_

In case you haven't figured it out, the shit's about to hit the fan. Look forward to it!


	52. A Stomach's Rebellion

Chapter 52

**With that piece of old world trash on your arm.. Why, we might as well be kin. _...God_**

Suit Up

/

Shepard strapped on the buckles to the security armour, finally letting out a breath of relief as the familiar feeling of padded protection layered on her body.

Behind her vault girl carefully rolled up the discarded jumpsuit to be added to her collection.

/

Writing on the walls

Vault girl took a long swallow before capping and tossing the half empty bottle of dirty water to Shepard who snatched it out of the air and gulped down a greedy mouthful. Pausing mid chug, Shepard's face took on a disgusted expression as she forced the liquid down her throught.

'That is disgusting.' She spoke, nauseated as the vault dweller shrugged back in reply.

'Share and share alike.' She replied.

'It's not clever if your stealing from graffiti.' Shepard accused.

Vault girl scowled at her.

/

I don't have a problem!

Vault girl pulled her torso out of the fallen garbage bin. She thrust the roll of duct tape clenched in her hands above her head triumphantly.

Behind her Shepard twitched.

/

Villa Rooftops

'Get down from there!' Shepard yelled at the vault dweller from the lower streets.

She yelped in shock as a laser pistol descended from above, narrowly missing as vault girl laughed from the upper floor of the villa.

/

Shepard narrowed her eyes at the gun.

'Lasers are restricted.' She complained absently. Watching vault girl out of the corner of her eye.

The blue haired girl busy looking through an oddly convenient box of laser ammo.

'Why is she so easy about this.' Shepard worried to herself.

/

Vault girl blinked as she pulled a playing card from underneath a couch.

/

Old world gourmet.

Vault girl raised an eyebrow at the commander who blushed as she realized she was stuffing her face with a box of junk food.

'What? I'm hungry.' She defended herself.

Vault girl grinned back as she took another shot from her bottle of whisky.

/

Shepard shrieked as the hideously deformed roach latched on to her leg. She frantically shook it as the radroach clung on desperately and vault girl laughed hysterically in the background.

/

'I'm not eating that.' Shepard vowed in disgust. Her stomach churning as she watched the vault dweller munch on a handful of roach meat as they walked.

Shepard stomach began it's slow rebellion. Rumbling as they walked.

/

Shepard's stomach was in full revolt, hunger pains sweeping through her body as she jealously watched the vault dweller swallow a devilled egg whole.

'How does she eat that?' She thought in despair as her companion swallowed another prewar egg.

/

Shepard pounded at the vending machine with her enhanced fists. The metal of the machine holding strong against her assault. 'I'm hungry!' she shouted, smacking the machine one last time before giving up with a huff as she spotted a chip slot next to the glowing display.

The clinking of coins filled the air as vault girl nonchalantly tossed a bag of casino chips in her hands.

/

Normandy II

Kasumi krept along the side off the mess hall. Whirling vapours leaving a trail where the cloaked thief would normally be undetectable.

A loud noise behind her.

Startled, kasumi looked back to find a hazard suited figure glaring at her with glowing eyes, a spear clenched between it's gloved fingers.

/

Garrus sniped another figure barrelling down the short hall leading to the gunnery room.

One exit, a narrow path, a group of armed thugs out to kill him. Deja vu.

The sniper growled deep in his throat as he shot the gas tank the figure clutched in it's fist. The small explosion tearing it to pieces.

/

_The hard part is letting go._

/

/

A/N Tune in next time for another episode of Vault Girl!


	53. Whispers and Prayers

Chapter 53

_**Begin again in the night  
Let's sway again tonight  
Your arm on my shoulder  
Your cheek against mine  
Where can we go  
When will we find that we know...**_

_**Where can we go**_  
_**When will we find that we know**_  
_**To let go**_  
_**Begin, begin again tonight ...Vera Keyes**_

Luck 1

/

Vault girl and Shepard sat hunched over a small set of cards.

Silently passing the night away.

A ghost groaned outside as vault girl expertly cut the deck.

'I win again.' Shepard smirked, her face hidden behind her cards.

Vault girls shoulders slumped in irritation.

She never won at cards.

/

Chemist

Vault girl cocked her head as she stared at the curious residue smearing the cracked walls of the villa.

Taking an empty whisky bottle, she carefully scrapped at the wall until the bottle was full.

/

Armed and dangerous

Shepard grinned as she slung the automatic rifle across her shoulder. Her mouth quirked as she watched vault girl take a few practice swings with the dull blade of her cosmic knife.

Chuckling, Shepard tossed a box of abraxo cleaner to the dweller whose lips curved into a pleased smile.

/

Jury Rigging

Shepard flipped through the magazine with mild interest as vault girl attempted to glue some knives to the end of a spear.

Frustrated, the vault dweller looked around for her duct tape.

/

In My Footsteps

God looked down at the humans. Shabbily dressed and small. Idiotic.. pathetic.

His eyes were drown to the small one... the one with the collar and eyes filled with greed.

How familiar.. little to know beyond the obvious.

Another pawn to the old man, like so many others.

The other... strong, clad in the armour of the Sierra Madre. Her face set with purpose.

Unusual, She did not belong here.

She shouldn't be here.

Not like the other.

Still.. they would do nicely.

/

Ghost Hunter

'Dog can tell when they not yet dead.'

Shepard listened wearily as her companion spoke in whispers with the frighteningly large creature. She watched as they turned to the unconscious ghost in eerily synchronized movements. Descending upon it as it's head jerked from side to side.

Shepard looked away long before it stopped screaming.

/

Ghastly scavenger

'Why are there so many ghosts?' Shepard shouted as her face was nearly taken off by the jagged teeth of a bear trap.

Vault girl shrugged and god chuckled. 'Must be the smell of humans.'

Shepard shot him a dirty look as she blew the head off the charging ghost.

Vault girl paused as her stomach rumbled.

God's lips arched upwards slightly as the small human reached for the downed ghost.

/

Listen!

Vault girl clutched her neck as her collar started to beep. Taking a few steps back, She let out a breath of the air as the forboding beeping quieted.

She jumped as a shot rang out and spun around to see Shepard looking pleased with herself as she leaned next to a sparking bit of metal hanging on the wall.

/

Hey kid, you all right?

Vault girl eyed the glowing clinic sign as she held her spear loosely in one hand. An odd itch seemed to creep across her skin as the glow seemed to grow brighter the longer she stared and the sounds of the Madre grew distant and unimportant.

'Is the small one unwell?' God asked Shepard who shrugged noncommittally as she eyed some nearby graffiti.

"**RUNRUNRUN**_"_

_/_

_Vault girl ignored the roar of static in her ears as she pushed through the clinic door._

_The hard part is letting go..._

_/_

/

A/N Not every story has a happy ending.

Some don't even have an ending.


	54. Blood and Metal

Chapter 54

**Outside you may notice your vision pulsing, i****t's the cloud, eating your insides.. too much exposure... death. _...Elijah_**

/

Light Step

It was odd watching a brute like god tiptoeing across mines and pressure traps but he managed with a grace that was at odds with his hulking frame.

Shepard was less fortunate as the jagged metal teeth of a bear trap snapped shut around her leg.

/

_Several ghost's turned their heads towards the clinic as a startled scream faded out in the distance._

/

Falling Flakes

Vault girl gazed at the snow globe. The small drifting snowflakes relaxing her nerves.

Shaking it a few times, she watched as the soft white flakes gently fell upon the small figure inside, it's feature obscured beyond the blue of the jumpsuit and the matching shine of it's hair.

/

Feeding the Beast

'That's dogs meat!' Shepard scolded, tugging on the remains of the ghost clenched in vault girls teeth as the small girl shook her head and refused to release her grip.

An impromptu tug of war broke out inside the villa walls.

/

Assassin Suit

'That looks good on you.' Shepard complimented. Eyes forward as vault girl zipped up the dark padded armour.

The smile she got in reply looked more like a grimace. It worried Shepard.

this place.. It was sucking the life right out of her companion. Not so much in health but... in spirit.

Vault girl frame clenched as she began coughing, she lurched to a nearby sink moment's before a mouthful of grey and red bile forced it's way out of her lungs.

'Ok.. maybe it's both.' Shepard panicked as she watched her companions eyes roll in her head as she fell to the ground.

/

Collar

A room with headless corpses, mannequins with collars.

Vault girl tugged on her own collar as the three stood in the doorway, looking on at the most likely outcome of anyone who enters the seira madre.

/

Clinic

The three stood in front of the auto doc. It's flashing blue lights contrasting sharply with the dull grey of the room. A sharp tapping coming from within.

Shepard glanced at her companions, vault girl was leaning against the door frame, head lowered as she breathed in the cloudless air, god looked mildly interested but made no move toward the machine.

Frustrated, Shepard stepped forward to open the door.

'Dammit!' She screamed, falling over backwards as a mechanical arm lashed out with a spinning saw from the machines empty innards.

Shepard lay staring up at the ceiling as the saw retreated back into the machine, irritation imprinted on her face.

'Why did we come here again?' Her companions shrugged in reply.

Shepard swore as she struggled to her feet, well away from the malfunctioning machine. 'Let's just get out of here.'

God and the vault dweller exchanged looks as they followed out of the room.

/

Normandy III

Kelly held her breath as heavy footsteps paced outside. The cramped space of the locker uncomfortable as she had jumped in and slammed the door shut behind her the moment the fog started to spread through the ship.

Kelly whimpered as a pair of dirty socks fell on her head. Trying desperately not to touch the unwashed pile of clothes she had the misfortune of sharing her hiding space with.

/

_The hard part is letting go..._

_/_

_/_

A/N Everyone want's to live forever.

No one ever does.


End file.
